Week 16 -- AI AMIGOS ESSA SEMANA FOI LOUCA. (So friends, this week was crazy)

It was the last week of Sister Soares and literally EVERY DAY was packed with running around the city visiting people that she taught and members in the wards she had served. We had janta CADA NOITE (dinner every night) (which usually we never stop to eat or have normally) with people making cinnamon rolls, specialty peixe (fish), churrasco (steaks), açai, homemade pizza (including cartola - a dessert pizza with cheese and bananas with cinnamon - suprising gostoso!! (delicious)) and literally qualquer outra (any other) excuse to sit, eat, share our testimonies and just enjoy one another's company before sending her back home. And even with all this, we STILL weren't even able to see all the people that wanted to see her. It was filled with so much love and pure felizidade (happiness) that really gave me perspective to the influence that she has on people and why I am serving a mission in the first place - for the people. There are not really words to adequately describe just how touching and beautiful it all was (but just maybe enough tears :')  ). 

Saying goodbye to her was really difficult, not going to lie, a little bit like saying goodbye to my actual mom - someone who really knew me and saw me from the very first day in the field, who guided me sternly but lovingly, and who truly inspired me in so many ways. I wish you could all meet her, she really is the most striking of people that just leaves you feeling a little lighter (abeit with a bit of sheer blunt honesty)

THEN we also had our zone conference with Presidente and all of the missionaries came to our capela (chapel) for some training and SERIOUSLY needed guidance. He talked about the importance of obedience of course, but he also emphasized the need for real personal study and how having the spirit really allows us to exclude even the possibility of fear in our hearts - foi poderosa amigos realmente (it was really powerful my friends). And after the training they call on random missionaries to roll-play and do a practice contact/lesson in front of everyone and the day before everyone in the apartment was stressing out about this part right. So they finish, beleza (beautiful), and who do they call? 

"SISTER SOARES (who was the most experienced on the mission and is a literal ICON), why don't you come up?

With your companion....s... " (as all of us stand up, because of course there was still 3 of us)

So yep, had to do a practica (practice) in front of the entire mission for my first zone conference - which turned out to be the ONLY practica they ended up doing. #whoopwhoop #yitche

But ever since Sister Soares left, I have literally become the mother of the apartment, even though I am definitely still one of the 'youngest' in the mission it's SO FUNNY. I'm not kidding - I wash dishes almost completely independently (because once I waited 5 DAYS without doing them to see what would happen and what happened? We ran out of every plate, cup, and fork in casa). And I make almost every meal because I am pretty sure no one else knows how to cook hardly anything right. So we are at Jose's last night making macarrão (pasta) and pipoca (popcorn) but the problem was that he didn't have any oil for the pan, so he starts rummaging around and goes PERFECT and plops these coconut oil capsules into the pan that you swallow like a pill. And I'm just sitting there like wait, this really isn't going to work guys the outside of the pill is not oil - it's some type of plastic-y type substance. But they just keep on plowing until it really starts burning and smoking and everyone's like AIII O QUE  (Is everything ok)?!?! and realize that wait, this really was not a good idea .  IT WAS SO FUNNY.

This Sunday was a bit of a dousey for the Sisters of Cidade Verde not going to lie. So Friday, we passed by their house to teach and remind Aparacida of her baptism this Sunday but she had taken the whole family to go visit her dad in the interior and her neighbors said she wouldn't be back until late Sunday night. So we were really disappointed that we weren't able to see her but tudo bem (everything is good) right. We pass by Saturday and see her daughter sitting on the side of the street and we get super excited because this meant they had returned early after all, but after asking after her mom, Alysia gestures towards a casa and says that she was inside drinking. Wow that was hard. But we went around the other side and talked to the youngins, who all had buzzed their hair #PRECIOUS, and said hey amigos we are going to pass by tomorrow for church okay? Let your mom know we passed by and will be back around 2. So the next day we approach the house and peak in the open door and all I see is Maria Aparacida passed out on the ground, completely tousled and groggy and clearly in the aftermath of a night of drinking. I don't think I have ever seen a more discouraging sight in my entire life. Someone that you really invested your heart and soul into, all the fruits of your work and testimony and love just disintegrating into midair. But as we sat and talked to her, trying to convince her to go to church and remind her how much she loved it, I wanted to be angry. But in the moment all I could see was myself, saw the reality of the imperfection of the natural man, but I really just saw someone who knew she had messed up but who really just wanted to believe that Christ still loved her even despite her imperfection. This work isn't meant to just be a simple easy do it and you’re done, teach all the lessons, get them to church, baptism - no. People are so much more real than that, and the realization that we are all just doing the best we can was something that was really powerful for me. 

Stop Anne, breathe. What do they need? To be reminded of the things they need to be doing, what they already know or to hear that they are loved anyways and always by our Savior. 

It was quite the semana (week) folks, but it really was one that has forever altered my perspective of the mission, of people, and of myself. Wow I am so grateful for our Savior, He really has given us everything even when we have nothing in return. 

Cinnamon rolls (minus the icing - they don't like it!)

Try to show a little extra love this week, you never know how much they need it <3

COM MUITO AMOR (with a lot of love)

Sister Staheli

Sister Barlow (MTC companion) and Sister Forsythe (PRIMEIRA missionary from Scottland to serve in BRASIL)

Last goodbye with the lenda Sister Soares :')

Week 15 -- Tender Mercies of the Lord

Wow this week was one that I think that really gave me perspective I needed.

One of all the tender mercies of the Lord for those who really love and serve Him, one of the impact we have on other people, and a perspective that made me stop and think about who I really am as a person.  

This week we had one day where we left the house at 8 in the morning and didn't get back until 9:30 - almost legit 12 hours of straight and diligent hard work. Just to give you a taste, normally our goals for the week from our mission president are 80 contacts (where you stop people on the street and give them the location, time, and invite them for a church service),and we had almost 115 !!!!! In one day, we had to encounter 7 new people to teach with addresses and everything. It was one of the most tiring days, but also one of the most satisfying you know? When you have something that you really give every effort you have, something that you really invest yourself in and the feeling that you were able to accomplish something that challenged you,  ahhhhh wow I just THRIVE on days like that. 

And it was such a tender mercy because the Lord completely blessed our efforts. Our president has really been emphasizing that we need to walk by faith - both to have patience that the people we are teaching will be able to change their lives and accept the gospel, but also that you need to be able to let go of people that just aren't really ready in their lives right now to accept the happiness of the gospel (which is SO MUCH more difficult for me). I have such a strong testimony that when the Lord sees that you are really invested in something good in your life, with faith and humility to know that you can't do it all by yourself, that this is all the Lord needs to justify a little extra boost to help you out. But we were able to not only meet but exceed the standards for the week and were able to celebrate with both açai, AND my first time in a McDonald's BRASIL. 

And MAN IT'S SO FUNNY. You can have a brisket and sizzling steak with rice, beans, farofa, salsa, bolo de chocolate, mandioca, sweet potato, cuscuz, with a LITER of Guarana for like 20 reais, but how much does a burger and fries cost from McD's?? 

$33. 

*shrugs and buys subpar quality subway across the street for $12*

The mission is crazy because I totally thought I had things figured out in my life before I left - my testimony, the person I was, the perspective I had of the world but also the way that I thought the world saw me. But there's never been any other moment in my life that I have felt the burden of my weaknesses so strongly, that I have been aware of how much I have to improve and just how very, very far I am from the perfect example of my Savior. And wow I really sat and thought about who I was one night after everyone had gone to bed. Just me and my thoughts and the stars. I thought about my Savior and that moment in the Garden when He sat and took upon Himself every bad thing, every pain to ever have been imagined. Reading a talk by Elder Howard, it talked about how Christ knew on an intellectual level what He would need to do, but when it came time to actually feel the immense burden and pain upon shoulders and heart of one so pure, even He felt inadequate. That what which was required of Him was too much for Him to bear, asking for Heavenly Father to relieve Him - to help Him under the overwhelming guilt and grief. And it just made my Savior so much more real you know? He really does understand you, in everything, wow it's just powerful. 

So I had a moment - ANNE STOP. And I am learning to accept myself for who I am, weaknesses and all. Because it is only through our weaknesses that we remember that we can't do everything on our own - that we really are children who need our Father's love and wisdom in every moment. 

Wow I love Him. 

Try to take something that you know you can improve on, and really try to turn it from a burden to a blessing. Every imperfection is just an opportunity to learn how to better. 

LOVE YOU ALL. 

MUITO AMOR.

Sister Staheli

Sis Soares special influence

Maria Aparacida and fam 

Oh so expensive McDonalds

View outside Pres. & Sis Colleoni's apartment

5 missionaries in a car

Week 14 -- Americana be robando amigos #cuidado

Every day I am appreciating more and more what it means to be a missionary. It's funny because I was looking back at my old journal entries and they all start with 

WOW THIS DAY WAS SUCH A BLESSING.

 or 

WOW I'M TIRED.

 or 

WOW I MISS VEGIES. 

(for real it's actually impressive at times their pasta/rice/meat to vegies ratio, but they make up for it with their quality of cocos (coconuts), guaiabas, (guava) and mangas (mangos) so I guess it evens out somewhere ;) 

But this week was really amazing in different ways - with the people we taught and conversations we had, the amount of times I was able to just laugh at myself and the situation I was in, and just the joy that comes naturally from always striving to recognize the hand of the Lord in your day. 

BLESSING OF THE WEEK: We were able to get 7 (!!!!!!!!) people we have been teaching in church yesterday!! Ok so maybe 4 of them were under the age of 8 and were adorably crazy and restless during the Sacrament - but what does that really matter?

1. So the biggest group was this family with a mom Aparacida and her 15 year old daughter Alycya (who has a smoking addiction that started when she was 11 YEARS OLD), and 4 youngin meninos (little boys) Luiz, Pedro, Benjamin, and Itsãlo. Oh my gosh it was the funniest thing. So we passed by their little home to grab them for church and the girls were still getting ready so my companions say take the boys to Jóse while we are waiting (who if you remember was the recent convert that prayed about us

). So I am walking, just me with these 3 little boys all soaking wet from the rushed shower and I'm asking them what their names are and how old they were and such right. So we pass this group of people that are sitting eating and when they see me with all these kids without their mom, they kind of freak right because this street is almost like a family - everyone knows everyone, and they see the missionaries EVERY DAY and they are already a little weary of the fact we are all from different states/countries.

Oi, where are you taking them??
Where's their mom??? 

Which agitation only INCREASES when they see me round the corner, herd them into the waiting running car with Jóse and return to check on Aparacida, SEM CRIANCAS (without kids). Oh my gosh never before had I really felt like I was legit kidnapping but man this got pretty close. Imagina - the innocent Americana robando (stealing) toas as bebês (all the babies) heh heh... #watchoutBrasil. But just imagine sacrament with all these little boys who have never had to sit for so long - hinos (hymns) being destroyed left and right, "I haven't had the water yet *drinks second cup*" and crawling underneath the pews AHHH it was just the purest form of content chaos, but after much noise and tearing of paper and thrown airplanes, we finally figured it out and each missionary had her arm around one of the boys who were intently drawing or focused on pictures of Christ in our panfletos (pamphlets) and their sweet mom was finally able to actually listen to what was being said.. ahh filled my heart amigos <3

One of the other people in church was GABI. And she really is the most amazing, prepared person I have ever met. She is the neighbor of a family in the ward and after the first lesson she goes, oh sorry I didn't have much time to look at your panfletto and the scriptures in the Book of Mormon because of school and work *pulls out 2 pages of annotations and questions and proceeds to give a complete summary of the story of Joseph Smith and of Moroni chapter 10* #dying. But she really has been prepared by the Lord and during the lessons it was one of the first times that I actually didn't feel inhibited by the language. Something this week that has really hit me is how apparent the hand of the Lord is in the work of bringing His children home. He knew that Gabi needed to hear these words and he enabled me to be a simple conduit of those simple truths and the simple statement that she was loved, that God has a plan for her. Wow there are just no words to describe the miraculous nature of it all. 

There's nothing I am more sure of than the fact that God is a part of every aspect of the lives of His children. Every day the love that He has for them grows in me and I just can't get over how much I am grateful for Him and for families. 

MUITO AMOR AMIGOS. (much love friends)

Try to write down a tender mercy of the Lord every day this week!

Sister Staheli

Tried a variety of fresh native fruits this week including the fruit of a cashew and fresh coco verde (which is kind of squishy and wet). It's funny how the fruits that are so common in America are the delicacies of this country - like honeydew and strawberries!! 

 I love living in a house with 4 other girls because its like you gain 4 new sisters (with 4 new wardrobes #whoopwhoop! #allwearingclothesofSisterStaheli #shoutouttoKIMRA)

Silva, Soares, Staheli <3

Week 13 -- The tongue of the Vaca (bow bow bow)

Alrighty family this was the week when the food actually approached the border of sketchtow and in all honesty, I have been pretty surprised with how normal all the meals are here. My mission stories with food will be pretty disappointing compared to those of Mason Douglass who (and I have NO IDEA how I remember this) ate literal BLOOD SAUSAGE - which is essentially just a ziploc-like sac filled with just straight animal blood. BUT that changed with the cow tongue that an irmã (sister) brought for us for almoço on terça (lunch on Tuesday), which actually has really great flavor, but when you're thinking about the fact you are using your own tongue and tasting something that also used to taste things… life gets a little weird. 

But this week our apartment gained a newbie from the MTC - Sister Hernandez de Columbia! It’s so weird having her living with us and watching all the ways that she reacts to things, because it's like I am reliving the first few weeks of my mission all over again. Like we are all sitting eating and talking together about the craziness of the day or the funny things that happened and she just looks at me and goes "wait, can you actually understand everything they are saying?"

And I was like of course!

Wait. 

OH MY GOSH I CAN.

 Like and it wasn't even something that was weird for me to be having that conversation with them or something that I had even thought about. When the change happened from just being completely overwhelmed with the fact that I couldn't understand a single word to being able to have actual continuous thoughts and strung together words in a phrase, it's really amazing. I realized that sometimes I am not even thinking the sentences I want to say in English anymore (which is sometimes a really BAD idea) but it was a moment that I was really able to appreciate how far I have come and the ways that I have grown in the mission this past transfer, not only with the language but with a wider perspective of the people and what it means to be a missionary. But she has really been amazing and I made her some American style pancakes for her first day (really simple - banana, egg, ground up oats, cinnamon, and a little salt) and with this homemade maple syrup and she LOVED IT.

It's also pretty funny to talk with her because we'll be like um do you have that green thing (dust pan)? What's this called? I have no idea but in Spanish it’s ...."

Wow I love the exposure you have with other cultures on a mission. Every country just expresses themselves in a unique way and I am really starting to appreciate the core ideals that my companions have because of where they live. They don't have a "this is mine, this is yours" mindset - they just share everything because everyone is your family. They really are so selfless at times with everything- money, food and just so expressive and direct with how they feel, it's just really profound you know?  

Ahh I'm running out of time so I will just bullet point the rest:

- had a surreal experience teaching a swarm of 8 little girls under the age of 12 on the cobblestone street curb. When they saw us coming, they came running and screaming and giggling, hugging me and saying "OI! (Ela é Americano!!)" And we had the opportunity to teach them about Christ being baptized and they were all just like, "I want to follow Christ! I want to be baptized like Him!!" And after they all wanted me to speak English and so I 'translated' all of their names into English and they all went crazy it was the cutest thing. It was like being overwhelmed with a swarm of puppies :) 

AHH MEU CORAÇÃO  (Ahh my heart).  

-Short thought about something that really hit me this week: 

We have really been so blessed in our lives, but we just become accustomed to it. I was fasting this week for the ability to know how it was that I could improve, to better understand the needs of the people around me so that I might be able to help them. But something that really hit me as a response came in the simple word: talents. And how important it is that we are not only developing our talents, but that we are also sharing them with other people. I thought about a singer who was like REALLY amazing right, but the only times that she would sing was in the bathroom for just herself. If only one person benefits from the profound feelings and emotions that come from the skill, what is the point of that amazing ability? We are on earth to help and lift one another, but we have all been given different abilities that make us unique. It should be exciting to share something we love with those around us, when we teach or perform or smile - we ourselves feel uplifted too. 

Don't be afraid to share your talents, or to acknowledge when you really need to rely on the abilities of someone else. 

We need to lose the mindset of "this is mine, and that is yours" and really share those things that we cherish the most with those around us - I really learned the importance of that this week. 

Anyways, sending my love as always - sorry for the lack of time today but thank you for your letters!! They fill my heart with a little piece of home <3 

COM MUITO AMOR (with much love),

Sister Staheli