Week 16 -- AI AMIGOS ESSA SEMANA FOI LOUCA. (So friends, this week was crazy)

It was the last week of Sister Soares and literally EVERY DAY was packed with running around the city visiting people that she taught and members in the wards she had served. We had janta CADA NOITE (dinner every night) (which usually we never stop to eat or have normally) with people making cinnamon rolls, specialty peixe (fish), churrasco (steaks), açai, homemade pizza (including cartola - a dessert pizza with cheese and bananas with cinnamon - suprising gostoso!! (delicious)) and literally qualquer outra (any other) excuse to sit, eat, share our testimonies and just enjoy one another's company before sending her back home. And even with all this, we STILL weren't even able to see all the people that wanted to see her. It was filled with so much love and pure felizidade (happiness) that really gave me perspective to the influence that she has on people and why I am serving a mission in the first place - for the people. There are not really words to adequately describe just how touching and beautiful it all was (but just maybe enough tears :')  ). 

Saying goodbye to her was really difficult, not going to lie, a little bit like saying goodbye to my actual mom - someone who really knew me and saw me from the very first day in the field, who guided me sternly but lovingly, and who truly inspired me in so many ways. I wish you could all meet her, she really is the most striking of people that just leaves you feeling a little lighter (abeit with a bit of sheer blunt honesty)

THEN we also had our zone conference with Presidente and all of the missionaries came to our capela (chapel) for some training and SERIOUSLY needed guidance. He talked about the importance of obedience of course, but he also emphasized the need for real personal study and how having the spirit really allows us to exclude even the possibility of fear in our hearts - foi poderosa amigos realmente (it was really powerful my friends). And after the training they call on random missionaries to roll-play and do a practice contact/lesson in front of everyone and the day before everyone in the apartment was stressing out about this part right. So they finish, beleza (beautiful), and who do they call? 

"SISTER SOARES (who was the most experienced on the mission and is a literal ICON), why don't you come up?

With your companion....s... " (as all of us stand up, because of course there was still 3 of us)

So yep, had to do a practica (practice) in front of the entire mission for my first zone conference - which turned out to be the ONLY practica they ended up doing. #whoopwhoop #yitche

But ever since Sister Soares left, I have literally become the mother of the apartment, even though I am definitely still one of the 'youngest' in the mission it's SO FUNNY. I'm not kidding - I wash dishes almost completely independently (because once I waited 5 DAYS without doing them to see what would happen and what happened? We ran out of every plate, cup, and fork in casa). And I make almost every meal because I am pretty sure no one else knows how to cook hardly anything right. So we are at Jose's last night making macarrão (pasta) and pipoca (popcorn) but the problem was that he didn't have any oil for the pan, so he starts rummaging around and goes PERFECT and plops these coconut oil capsules into the pan that you swallow like a pill. And I'm just sitting there like wait, this really isn't going to work guys the outside of the pill is not oil - it's some type of plastic-y type substance. But they just keep on plowing until it really starts burning and smoking and everyone's like AIII O QUE  (Is everything ok)?!?! and realize that wait, this really was not a good idea .  IT WAS SO FUNNY.

This Sunday was a bit of a dousey for the Sisters of Cidade Verde not going to lie. So Friday, we passed by their house to teach and remind Aparacida of her baptism this Sunday but she had taken the whole family to go visit her dad in the interior and her neighbors said she wouldn't be back until late Sunday night. So we were really disappointed that we weren't able to see her but tudo bem (everything is good) right. We pass by Saturday and see her daughter sitting on the side of the street and we get super excited because this meant they had returned early after all, but after asking after her mom, Alysia gestures towards a casa and says that she was inside drinking. Wow that was hard. But we went around the other side and talked to the youngins, who all had buzzed their hair #PRECIOUS, and said hey amigos we are going to pass by tomorrow for church okay? Let your mom know we passed by and will be back around 2. So the next day we approach the house and peak in the open door and all I see is Maria Aparacida passed out on the ground, completely tousled and groggy and clearly in the aftermath of a night of drinking. I don't think I have ever seen a more discouraging sight in my entire life. Someone that you really invested your heart and soul into, all the fruits of your work and testimony and love just disintegrating into midair. But as we sat and talked to her, trying to convince her to go to church and remind her how much she loved it, I wanted to be angry. But in the moment all I could see was myself, saw the reality of the imperfection of the natural man, but I really just saw someone who knew she had messed up but who really just wanted to believe that Christ still loved her even despite her imperfection. This work isn't meant to just be a simple easy do it and you’re done, teach all the lessons, get them to church, baptism - no. People are so much more real than that, and the realization that we are all just doing the best we can was something that was really powerful for me. 

Stop Anne, breathe. What do they need? To be reminded of the things they need to be doing, what they already know or to hear that they are loved anyways and always by our Savior. 

It was quite the semana (week) folks, but it really was one that has forever altered my perspective of the mission, of people, and of myself. Wow I am so grateful for our Savior, He really has given us everything even when we have nothing in return. 

Cinnamon rolls (minus the icing - they don't like it!)

Try to show a little extra love this week, you never know how much they need it <3

COM MUITO AMOR (with a lot of love)

Sister Staheli

Sister Barlow (MTC companion) and Sister Forsythe (PRIMEIRA missionary from Scottland to serve in BRASIL)

Last goodbye with the lenda Sister Soares :')

Week 15 -- Tender Mercies of the Lord

Wow this week was one that I think that really gave me perspective I needed.

One of all the tender mercies of the Lord for those who really love and serve Him, one of the impact we have on other people, and a perspective that made me stop and think about who I really am as a person.  

This week we had one day where we left the house at 8 in the morning and didn't get back until 9:30 - almost legit 12 hours of straight and diligent hard work. Just to give you a taste, normally our goals for the week from our mission president are 80 contacts (where you stop people on the street and give them the location, time, and invite them for a church service),and we had almost 115 !!!!! In one day, we had to encounter 7 new people to teach with addresses and everything. It was one of the most tiring days, but also one of the most satisfying you know? When you have something that you really give every effort you have, something that you really invest yourself in and the feeling that you were able to accomplish something that challenged you,  ahhhhh wow I just THRIVE on days like that. 

And it was such a tender mercy because the Lord completely blessed our efforts. Our president has really been emphasizing that we need to walk by faith - both to have patience that the people we are teaching will be able to change their lives and accept the gospel, but also that you need to be able to let go of people that just aren't really ready in their lives right now to accept the happiness of the gospel (which is SO MUCH more difficult for me). I have such a strong testimony that when the Lord sees that you are really invested in something good in your life, with faith and humility to know that you can't do it all by yourself, that this is all the Lord needs to justify a little extra boost to help you out. But we were able to not only meet but exceed the standards for the week and were able to celebrate with both açai, AND my first time in a McDonald's BRASIL. 

And MAN IT'S SO FUNNY. You can have a brisket and sizzling steak with rice, beans, farofa, salsa, bolo de chocolate, mandioca, sweet potato, cuscuz, with a LITER of Guarana for like 20 reais, but how much does a burger and fries cost from McD's?? 

$33. 

*shrugs and buys subpar quality subway across the street for $12*

The mission is crazy because I totally thought I had things figured out in my life before I left - my testimony, the person I was, the perspective I had of the world but also the way that I thought the world saw me. But there's never been any other moment in my life that I have felt the burden of my weaknesses so strongly, that I have been aware of how much I have to improve and just how very, very far I am from the perfect example of my Savior. And wow I really sat and thought about who I was one night after everyone had gone to bed. Just me and my thoughts and the stars. I thought about my Savior and that moment in the Garden when He sat and took upon Himself every bad thing, every pain to ever have been imagined. Reading a talk by Elder Howard, it talked about how Christ knew on an intellectual level what He would need to do, but when it came time to actually feel the immense burden and pain upon shoulders and heart of one so pure, even He felt inadequate. That what which was required of Him was too much for Him to bear, asking for Heavenly Father to relieve Him - to help Him under the overwhelming guilt and grief. And it just made my Savior so much more real you know? He really does understand you, in everything, wow it's just powerful. 

So I had a moment - ANNE STOP. And I am learning to accept myself for who I am, weaknesses and all. Because it is only through our weaknesses that we remember that we can't do everything on our own - that we really are children who need our Father's love and wisdom in every moment. 

Wow I love Him. 

Try to take something that you know you can improve on, and really try to turn it from a burden to a blessing. Every imperfection is just an opportunity to learn how to better. 

LOVE YOU ALL. 

MUITO AMOR.

Sister Staheli

Sis Soares special influence

Maria Aparacida and fam 

Oh so expensive McDonalds

View outside Pres. & Sis Colleoni's apartment

5 missionaries in a car

Week 14 -- Americana be robando amigos #cuidado

Every day I am appreciating more and more what it means to be a missionary. It's funny because I was looking back at my old journal entries and they all start with 

WOW THIS DAY WAS SUCH A BLESSING.

 or 

WOW I'M TIRED.

 or 

WOW I MISS VEGIES. 

(for real it's actually impressive at times their pasta/rice/meat to vegies ratio, but they make up for it with their quality of cocos (coconuts), guaiabas, (guava) and mangas (mangos) so I guess it evens out somewhere ;) 

But this week was really amazing in different ways - with the people we taught and conversations we had, the amount of times I was able to just laugh at myself and the situation I was in, and just the joy that comes naturally from always striving to recognize the hand of the Lord in your day. 

BLESSING OF THE WEEK: We were able to get 7 (!!!!!!!!) people we have been teaching in church yesterday!! Ok so maybe 4 of them were under the age of 8 and were adorably crazy and restless during the Sacrament - but what does that really matter?

1. So the biggest group was this family with a mom Aparacida and her 15 year old daughter Alycya (who has a smoking addiction that started when she was 11 YEARS OLD), and 4 youngin meninos (little boys) Luiz, Pedro, Benjamin, and Itsãlo. Oh my gosh it was the funniest thing. So we passed by their little home to grab them for church and the girls were still getting ready so my companions say take the boys to Jóse while we are waiting (who if you remember was the recent convert that prayed about us

). So I am walking, just me with these 3 little boys all soaking wet from the rushed shower and I'm asking them what their names are and how old they were and such right. So we pass this group of people that are sitting eating and when they see me with all these kids without their mom, they kind of freak right because this street is almost like a family - everyone knows everyone, and they see the missionaries EVERY DAY and they are already a little weary of the fact we are all from different states/countries.

Oi, where are you taking them??
Where's their mom??? 

Which agitation only INCREASES when they see me round the corner, herd them into the waiting running car with Jóse and return to check on Aparacida, SEM CRIANCAS (without kids). Oh my gosh never before had I really felt like I was legit kidnapping but man this got pretty close. Imagina - the innocent Americana robando (stealing) toas as bebês (all the babies) heh heh... #watchoutBrasil. But just imagine sacrament with all these little boys who have never had to sit for so long - hinos (hymns) being destroyed left and right, "I haven't had the water yet *drinks second cup*" and crawling underneath the pews AHHH it was just the purest form of content chaos, but after much noise and tearing of paper and thrown airplanes, we finally figured it out and each missionary had her arm around one of the boys who were intently drawing or focused on pictures of Christ in our panfletos (pamphlets) and their sweet mom was finally able to actually listen to what was being said.. ahh filled my heart amigos <3

One of the other people in church was GABI. And she really is the most amazing, prepared person I have ever met. She is the neighbor of a family in the ward and after the first lesson she goes, oh sorry I didn't have much time to look at your panfletto and the scriptures in the Book of Mormon because of school and work *pulls out 2 pages of annotations and questions and proceeds to give a complete summary of the story of Joseph Smith and of Moroni chapter 10* #dying. But she really has been prepared by the Lord and during the lessons it was one of the first times that I actually didn't feel inhibited by the language. Something this week that has really hit me is how apparent the hand of the Lord is in the work of bringing His children home. He knew that Gabi needed to hear these words and he enabled me to be a simple conduit of those simple truths and the simple statement that she was loved, that God has a plan for her. Wow there are just no words to describe the miraculous nature of it all. 

There's nothing I am more sure of than the fact that God is a part of every aspect of the lives of His children. Every day the love that He has for them grows in me and I just can't get over how much I am grateful for Him and for families. 

MUITO AMOR AMIGOS. (much love friends)

Try to write down a tender mercy of the Lord every day this week!

Sister Staheli

Tried a variety of fresh native fruits this week including the fruit of a cashew and fresh coco verde (which is kind of squishy and wet). It's funny how the fruits that are so common in America are the delicacies of this country - like honeydew and strawberries!! 

 I love living in a house with 4 other girls because its like you gain 4 new sisters (with 4 new wardrobes #whoopwhoop! #allwearingclothesofSisterStaheli #shoutouttoKIMRA)

Silva, Soares, Staheli <3

Week 13 -- The tongue of the Vaca (bow bow bow)

Alrighty family this was the week when the food actually approached the border of sketchtow and in all honesty, I have been pretty surprised with how normal all the meals are here. My mission stories with food will be pretty disappointing compared to those of Mason Douglass who (and I have NO IDEA how I remember this) ate literal BLOOD SAUSAGE - which is essentially just a ziploc-like sac filled with just straight animal blood. BUT that changed with the cow tongue that an irmã (sister) brought for us for almoço on terça (lunch on Tuesday), which actually has really great flavor, but when you're thinking about the fact you are using your own tongue and tasting something that also used to taste things… life gets a little weird. 

But this week our apartment gained a newbie from the MTC - Sister Hernandez de Columbia! It’s so weird having her living with us and watching all the ways that she reacts to things, because it's like I am reliving the first few weeks of my mission all over again. Like we are all sitting eating and talking together about the craziness of the day or the funny things that happened and she just looks at me and goes "wait, can you actually understand everything they are saying?"

And I was like of course!

Wait. 

OH MY GOSH I CAN.

 Like and it wasn't even something that was weird for me to be having that conversation with them or something that I had even thought about. When the change happened from just being completely overwhelmed with the fact that I couldn't understand a single word to being able to have actual continuous thoughts and strung together words in a phrase, it's really amazing. I realized that sometimes I am not even thinking the sentences I want to say in English anymore (which is sometimes a really BAD idea) but it was a moment that I was really able to appreciate how far I have come and the ways that I have grown in the mission this past transfer, not only with the language but with a wider perspective of the people and what it means to be a missionary. But she has really been amazing and I made her some American style pancakes for her first day (really simple - banana, egg, ground up oats, cinnamon, and a little salt) and with this homemade maple syrup and she LOVED IT.

It's also pretty funny to talk with her because we'll be like um do you have that green thing (dust pan)? What's this called? I have no idea but in Spanish it’s ...."

Wow I love the exposure you have with other cultures on a mission. Every country just expresses themselves in a unique way and I am really starting to appreciate the core ideals that my companions have because of where they live. They don't have a "this is mine, this is yours" mindset - they just share everything because everyone is your family. They really are so selfless at times with everything- money, food and just so expressive and direct with how they feel, it's just really profound you know?  

Ahh I'm running out of time so I will just bullet point the rest:

- had a surreal experience teaching a swarm of 8 little girls under the age of 12 on the cobblestone street curb. When they saw us coming, they came running and screaming and giggling, hugging me and saying "OI! (Ela é Americano!!)" And we had the opportunity to teach them about Christ being baptized and they were all just like, "I want to follow Christ! I want to be baptized like Him!!" And after they all wanted me to speak English and so I 'translated' all of their names into English and they all went crazy it was the cutest thing. It was like being overwhelmed with a swarm of puppies :) 

AHH MEU CORAÇÃO  (Ahh my heart).  

-Short thought about something that really hit me this week: 

We have really been so blessed in our lives, but we just become accustomed to it. I was fasting this week for the ability to know how it was that I could improve, to better understand the needs of the people around me so that I might be able to help them. But something that really hit me as a response came in the simple word: talents. And how important it is that we are not only developing our talents, but that we are also sharing them with other people. I thought about a singer who was like REALLY amazing right, but the only times that she would sing was in the bathroom for just herself. If only one person benefits from the profound feelings and emotions that come from the skill, what is the point of that amazing ability? We are on earth to help and lift one another, but we have all been given different abilities that make us unique. It should be exciting to share something we love with those around us, when we teach or perform or smile - we ourselves feel uplifted too. 

Don't be afraid to share your talents, or to acknowledge when you really need to rely on the abilities of someone else. 

We need to lose the mindset of "this is mine, and that is yours" and really share those things that we cherish the most with those around us - I really learned the importance of that this week. 

Anyways, sending my love as always - sorry for the lack of time today but thank you for your letters!! They fill my heart with a little piece of home <3 

COM MUITO AMOR (with much love),

Sister Staheli

Week 12 - Um Bravo Staheli é um Fluente Staheli

Ok something I learned in my first few weeks is that Brasileiros use the word 'bravo' a LOT. And at first, I thought it was just one of those words like 'cereal' and just meant brave or something. But with the amount of times they said it and the intensity didn't really make sense (kind of like I thought they were saying açai all the time but it was really 'sair' which means 'to leave' lol). So I came to find out that when Brasileiros say "Você fica bravo quando..." it actually means "You get ANGRY when..." 

Now for the tagline of the week. 

So you know how we have that recent convert José right.. the one who was praying about which missionary to marry? Well we think that he um "received" an answer. At first it wasn't very obvious but this guy is calling us ALL the time, ALL hours of the night just to see how we are doing, he knows when and where we go to email our families, he ALWAYS has the elder missionaries over at his apartment, and he is VERY involved in the lives of the missionaries right. So when we finish teaching Luca all of the lessons that he needs to learn before he is baptized (which honestly has been one of the most tender, fun experiences of my entire life - Rachel I taught him our handshake I hope that's okay) and we had a baptism service all set and ready for Sunday after church. Beleza. (Beautiful) But the thing is, José continues to call us and set up more lessons with Luca, even though we really have nothing left to teach and Luca REALMENTE (really) KNOWS TUDO (all). So we are sitting in one of the lessons and José says, "So I don't think that Luca is ready to be baptized this Sunday. I think that he needs AT LEAST another week of lessons" - and this is coming from a guy that knows that as soon as we finish teaching his son that we won't have an excuse to come by as much. So we sit there for more than an HOUR trying to convince José and understand what he is thinking or why Luca is not ready and boy, that man pulled every excuse I have ever heard. But the one that REALLY killed me was "I don't think that Luca is keeping his compromissos (commitments).  He is not praying morning and night or reading the Book of Mormon with real intent to find an answer." 

THIS IS A 9 YEAR OLD KID WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. 

And the thing is, this week was transfers so we know that Sister Carvalho was going to be transferred to a new area because she has been here forever and this was her LAST weekend.  I get home that night and I am just so frustrated. We are trying to explain what happened to the other sisters in our apartment and I am just RAPID FIRING. 

SISTER STAHELI FICA BRAVO right. And all of my companions are just dying because apparently I had literally NO ACCENT, and spoke like a literal Brasileiro; it was INSANE. I guess all it takes for me to learn this language is to be angry - dicas (tips) anyone? ;) But it was hard because we bore our testimonies about the importance of sacrifice and about faith. How we don't have to have a perfect knowledge, a concrete, physical, tangible stepping stone to take the first step. My District leader (who was also there - we had an intervention of CINCO missionaries there to teach José - we don't mess around when it comes to people's salvation folks) asked José:

"José, are you the same person that you were when you were baptized 2 months ago?"

And of course José says, "Well, no."

And Lugem goes on to talk about how if we always sit and wait for the perfect circumstances, a perfect knowledge of what is going to happen or how things are going to change, then nothing will ever happen. It was BECAUSE of the fact that José decided to be baptized that he was able to grow. With that first step into the slightly unknown, it is scary because the unknown is something that we don't always have control over. But where would he be without that act of faith is the real question. And the thing is, the unknown doesn't have to always be so scary because we aren't meant to do it on our own. The amazing thing about each individual is that you already have someone who knows the path to ultimate happiness before you even when you can't, and He is doing everything He can to help you find your steps forward. Heavenly Father uses people around us, He uses the scriptures and the words of our Prophets and leaders, and especially, He uses the Spirit to help us discover the joy in the unknown in our lives. Each person is placed in a life that God has prepared for you and has placed us in the paths of others to help love and guide each other back home to Him. And that we really have to act FIRST in order to grow, even if all the other logistics aren't perfect you know?

That moment I realized that there was no reasonable thing we could say that would ever be able to convince José to let Luca be baptized. It was just the simple act of reminding him of the testimony he had and letting the spirit speak to his heart in a way he could not deny. 

Guess who was baptized at 6:15 at night in the quickest most unconventional yet beautiful service I have ever attended?

Guess who lead the music without a piano and so had to sing the first line solo so that everyone knew the tune and then stayed up for the spiritual thought and then took all the pictures and then cut the cake all because it was her first baptism?

You already know. 

God is good guys. The spirit is one powerful witness. 

MUITO AMOR, 

Sister Staheli

 

Week 11 - OH MY GOODNESS THIS WEEK WAS CRAZY

We had divisions with this other dupla this week and Sister Carvalho, who has been in the area for the past 4 MONTHS, switched with another missionary that has literally 10 days (!!!) left in the mission and the crazy thing is that this new sister and my other companion Sister Soares were actually companions in the MTC. So there was me and two sisters that will both be home in less than 3 weeks - if you also thought this meant there was less for me to do, you and me both would be quite mistaken. They ended up putting ME in charge of all the planning of lessons and who we would visit, PHONE CALLS, and wayyy more street contacts. #IhavenoideawhatImdoing #help

You could definitely say that I learned some stuff. 

Jóse and Luca: 

So we have this recent convert Jóse who just received the gift of the Holy Ghost and he mentioned how he wanted us to teach his little 9 yr old son Luca - who is SO COOL. It has been really interesting to be able to change and adapt the way we teach the gospel in a way that Luca would understand and connect with. For example we were teaching about prophets and Sister Soares related it to superheros and asked Luca about his favorite superpower. She connected it with the fact that god calls these men and gives them this amazing power called the priesthood to act in His name and do miracles to help people. Needless to say he was totally engrossed and excited about every part, it was the coolest thing! 

Ok. Now about Jóse himself - this guy is just the happiest person who loves traveling and adventures and Tereré (which is kind of like mate that you drink with limão), but I mean this guy is REALLY friendly right. So we get a call one night from our district leader and it turns out that Jóse has actually been earnestly praying about which of the 3 of us Sister missionaries he should choose as a WIFE. And the thing is, at a first glance this guy totally looks like he is 30 maybe, but he is literally 49 and has a daughter who is 21 (!!!). It's so funny though because he is always giving us things like flowers he made from palm leaves or bracelets de amazonia (Sister Carvalho got this beefy knife I'm sure would make any boy scout jealous). It's seriously the funniest thing sometimes how different the culture is here and how something like 10, 20, THIRTY years age difference really isn't that uncommon. 

So you're beggining to understand how crazy my week has been right?

 I really gained an appreciation this week of the power of seeking the lone sheep that has wandered from the fold. I really wanted to earnestly search and learn about all the people who have been taught by missionaries in the past and also those that were baptized but don't ever come to church anymore. Luckily missionaries are really organized and we had a lot of information about these people like addresses and an occasional phone number. So with list in hand, we started knocking doors and really seeking the sheep one-by-one. We found grandmas that are really too sick to stand let alone walk 20 minutes to church or men that enjoy church well enough and the messages there but choose to work a lot on Sundays to support their family. The sad reality is that sometimes, the missionaries are the only people that ever really showed an interest or love for these people and when the missionaries leave and are transferred, these sheep fall by the wayside and are forgotten. With every person, we shared our love and testimonies about the importance of having continual faith on a daily basis, that we have to ACT on the faith that we have and make sacrifices to show God that we really love Him, and the importance and strength that comes from taking the sacrament each week. Wow it was just the most profound experience I don't even have words for it. 

It is so important that we are aware and loving with every person we see. Every person on this earth in one way or another has wandered from the fold, whether they need a friend, words of encouragement, or someone to simply acknowledge that they are there and are aware of them. God needs us to be His shepherds, to gather and love our brothers and sisters, to really be disciples of Christ. 

Try to think about a person this week you can reach out to or a small sacrifice you can do to show God how much you love Him, I promise that it will just fill your soul and give it a warm squeeze :)

As always, sending my love from Brasil (oh and pray that Jóse picks a different sister please)

MUITO AMOR, 

Sister Staheli 

9 yr old Luca

Week 10 - Gave a talk in Portuguese

Ok listen up kiddos - you know what happens when you get up and bear your testimony in Portugues? 

YOU GET ASKED TO GIVE A TALK.  ALSO IN PORTUGUES. 

So we are sitting at this member's home and Jonathan (OF COURSE his name was Jonathan) goes Sister! Your Portgues is really good! And then he kind of just mumbles and rapid fires something else and I just look at Jessie his sister (who is soon to marry a guy from Idaho) go ahhh Obrigada (thanks). But then later on I am sitting there and he just mentions something about the following sunday with a raised inflection in his voice so I KNOW something is up and I stop and go wait what? Yep amigos - foi um discurso (To give a speech or talk). Ok giving a talk in Sacrament was literally the most surreal experience in the world. My first couple of weeks in the CTM I stressed so much about every word that I was saying for our lessons, writing everything down word-for-word (BAD IDEA btw) but for Sacrament, I wanted to just be able to be myself and not be intimidated by the language. So I am up there with only a couple scattered bullet points and solid scriptures, definitely butchering the grammar and pronunciations. But instead of focusing on that, I just focused on the people in the congregation and with every pause or questioning word I kid you not - I would see like 30 encouraging smiles and nodding heads, everyone whispering 'jeso’ (I didn't find a definition other than it means affirmation)!!' when I was trying to describe the casts that my mom had to wear after her skiing accident, everyone was just SO KIND.  :') 

After, I had this family come up that was from Utah but the wife was from Brasil, traveling around to Malaysia, Australia, Japan and they were trying to speak Portugues to me but in the end they just go okay let's just speak Ingles right. BUT IT WAS THE STRANGEST THING - it was like my tongue forgot how to speak english. Like I am still thinking and writing my journal in ingles and the occasional words here and there when I don't know - but never actual sentences. I also realized that Brasileiros have a different way of expressing themselves that is COMPLETELY different than americanos and while I was speaking, I was unable to balance the two and often reverted back to the Portugues palavras (words) that have been my staple expressions the past few weeks. It's been barely 2 months (WHAT?), I already can't imagine after a year and a half.

I am seriously losing the ability to speak any language fluently at all. 

Oh my goodness though - this week we taught an ACTUAL FAMILY. We contacted this 14 year old kid in the street one night and had the opportunity to teach Eliberto, and his three younger siblings who were 12, 9, and 7 while their mother was in the kitchen in the other room making coco brigadeiro (Brazilian fudge balls). Woah. Having those little children gathered around your feet on the floor, living in just the most humble and simple of shacks that had little loving, homemade touches to make it a home - teaching about baptism and Cristo... There's never been um outro (another) experience I can compare it to in the world. All the people here already have such a faith and love of Jesus Christ - like EVERYONE, it's amazing. I have been really touched by the people in a way I can't describe - the members, people recently baptized that I never even had the opportunity to teach but have been blessed to know, the people in the streets, everyone. 

This place is just so beautiful in so many ways.

(She sent some pictures, but no context or information on the people) 

These are her 2 Brazilian companions

I think this is the worlds largest cashew tree

Week 9

This is SO COOL but I totally forgot about the fact that all the stars and constellations are different down here! We were outside last night playing basketball with a recent convert and her fam (ok my companheiras may have just cheered us on from the sidelines but still there in spirit) and it blew my mind how bright and clear the sky was. I mean here we are in a CITY with hundreds of thousands of people and from one spot, we were able to see Venus, Mars, Pluto, Saturn, and JUPITER. Man every time I look at the stars, I really appreciate how small we are when you think about the universe and everything that's in it. God has such an eye for beauty it's seriously amazing. 

But this week was of course Fast Sunday and I love that on a mission, we begin our fast the previous day. Because it really helps me appreciate what it means to prepare for the sabbath you know? You don't have to wait until you wake up on Sunday morning to feel the physical famine and spiritual feast, the spirit is already there with you to help you feel the power of the fast and the strength that comes from it. 

Ok so this fast Sunday I was sitting in the row and I was pretty comfortable right, because of all the times in my life - NOW was really the time people really wouldn't expect me to bear my testimony because claro, primeiro (clearly, first) transfer in a new country with a new language tudo bem right? But then one after the other, my companions get up to bear their testimonies and I am sitting there on the pew alone feeling a little sheepish, but still with a whole lot of fear. Then our sweet little Daniel, who is about 11 years old and who wants to be baptized but his family is against it (yet still comes to church every week #stud), leans over and says Sister, why are you not up there with the others? And his words just pierced my heart with the truth I already knew. So rather reluctantly, I plucked myself off the pew and waited my turn to bear my testimony. I can't even describe the nerves that were building up and the fear that I was feeling about not being able to express how I felt, but I was also feeling the overwhelming amount of gratitude and testimony burning inside that I knew I needed to share. So when my turn came, I stood up and did it - I bore my soul about how blessed I felt to come to this place, that even though I still have fear every time before I open my mouth that once I begin speaking, I realize that there really was nothing to be scared about in the first place. Because what am I doing when you really think about it? What should be scary or intimidating about bringing your brothers and sisters who are lost and alone, probably feeling the same fear I was, back to their loving Father in heaven? I shared a scripture about how there are angels round about you bearing you up, to have LOVE over FEAR and wow. It was a powerful experience folks - even in my far from perfect Portugues.   (She may be talking about this scripture in D&C 84:88  - And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up ).

Man everyone needs more Daniels in their life to remind them of what really matters. 

Wow this week I really saw the blessings and the hardships of life in Brasil for these people. We sat in casas that were immense and expensive, sitting by the poolside and drinking sweet suco, (juice) gazing at beautiful and priceless paintings with the servant of the house while the member was away traveling. In the same day, we sat on the doorstep of a neighborhood tucked away from everything else, the people dirty and forgotten, teaching a 15 year old girl about the gospel of Jesus Christ while her 16 year old married sister sat smoking a cigarette. Being here just blows my mind how different our circumstances are in life and how sometimes, we really have no control over the type of environment we are born into. But no matter the person or the house, I can feel the power of the love our Savior and God have for each soul. 

The gospel is one of the most amazing things in the world for this exact reason - who needs worldly things when you have the knowledge that you have a loving Father in Heaven with a very specific plan for you in your life. 

We are all so blessed. 

Sending my love across the miles amigos :)

Sister Staheli

Week 8 - Anyone know what a broken toe looks like?

Ok I'm not entirely sure how but when we were walking, one of my companions cut in front of me and my foot hit the bottom of her shoe, which wouldn't have been a problem EXCEPT for the obvious fact that she has some pretty heavy duty shoes and I am, of course, in Chacos right, so it hurt but I shook it off.   Mas... but then by the end of the day, they were purple and had swollen to like 3 TIMES the normal size.

Before you freak mom, I am still able to walk okay and one of the members looked at it last night and we don't think they are broken #whoopwhoop #blessingsofbeingamissionary 

This week was SO MUCH BETTER. I am actually starting to actually understand a little better what people are saying instead of just sitting there and smiling during lunch and hoping that whatever they just said was not a question other than "De onde vocé é?" (Where are you from?) Okay here's the thing that is so much harder about actually learning a language in real life than in high school - I realized that I was totally approaching the language sometimes like a multiple choice test right, like oh yeah conversaçáo = conversation I can DO THIS. But then recognizing the word on paper and then actually needing that word in your mind during a conversation apparently are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. The thing is though, this place is seriously so amazing and you are motivated by the desire to make real connections with the people around you, to understand a new culture and to appreciate the things they value and find beautiful that it really isn't that hard to find the motivation to study or always be learning. 

---Also STILL BLOWN AWAY by how well children can pray. Every time they open their mouths I just expect the same broken language and grammar that I have, but BOY THEY ARE GOOD. 

Also WOW certain foods here are either dirt cheap,or 10 MILLION reais!! And it's really funny to see what types of things that people are willing to spend their money on. So at the grocery store, I saw some quinoa and I was like whoop that looks great, but no price tag so I am a little suspicious. By the time I get to the checkout, I forgot about it and then she rings it up and its like 16 (!! which is a lot compared to the 1,50 can of peas right) but it was way too big of a pain to correct her. So my companions are so blown away by the fact I just bought that but then later that day, they were raving about this entire body hair removal that costs $100 and they didn't even bat an eye! Eu náo sei (I do not know) amigos. 

Something I really love about being a missionary though is the feeling and silence that exists as we are walking away from a really powerful lesson. It's like we don't even have to say anything to know the power of what just happened. That we just got to be instruments and conduits of the pure love and spirit of Christ, if only for a few minutes. So much of each day is just powerful and things like that don't need words to muddle things. The "tongue of angels", the language of the spirit is something that can't be stopped by anything because this is literally the most important mission that God has on this Earth. It's why we are all here - to help and lift and bless. But mostly to love. 

Found a scripture that reminded me of my sister Rachel - look it up for a little touch of love in your life! 1 John 4:7-9 (I think)

(7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.)

MUITO AMOR DE BRASIL

Sister Staheli

Week 7 - I'm in Cidade Verde, Natal, Brasil

Wow guys I made it. 

I am sitting in Cidade Verde, NATAL. BRASIL. Ok realmente, I thought we were in Brasil but I realized that the CTM was realistically more like an American hotel that just happens to have foreign guests and also apparently really REALLY likes rice and beans, and for some reason everyone is speaking Portugues.. But I am actually here and I am really starting to be immersed in this people and this new culture and WOW do I love it. 

Ok people totally all kiss each other here when you meet just like I was expecting/had been told, BUT what I have realized is that you have to EARN THE KISS. Not everyone will just kiss anyone off the street, ESPECIALLY a new americano who they have never met before. But don't worry amigos, by the end of each visit you already know who got the biggest smooch ;] 

No but really it's so funny being from the States here for several reasons: 

1. I totally stick out. First off with how I look - pretty much everyone we pass on the streets will just sit and STARE and everyone wants to touch my hair and pinch my cheeks it's hilarious. But also I stick out because not only am I totally only understanding maybe (strong maybe) 40% of what people are saying, absolutely NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND ME. Oh my gosh it's the funniest thing, we will be having a conversation with someone and I spend you know, a good majority of the time trying to build up the courage to say something that I have been rehearsing in my mind for the past 10 minutes but when I actually speak, everyone just stops and goes... 'Que??' and then my companions (I'm in a trio) have to repeat legit I swear THE EXACT SAME THING I just said and then everyone somehow understands. "Que???" But it's funny because they aren't really sure how much I can understand and so sometimes when we are talking with people and they had just asked me to say the prayer (of course make the American who doesn't know the difference between por and para say it) and they just go, wow.. she's um different. (Also heard the phrase "sem jeito" which please do yourself the favor of looking up AHHHH).  (I looked it up - Awkward)

2. We are totally babies! Not only because we are new to the missionary lifestyle and the planning and the street contacting but also because I am totally at the will of my companions. It's almost like I'm kind of like a pet or a little child who doesn't really talk much but they have to lug around everywhere but also make sure I am getting enough food. IT'S SO FUNNY. Like ok we are walking now, don't know where but that's okay. Yep these houses look so nice and colorful I love it oh! ok we are going to knock on this one, don't know what lesson we are going to teach but that's okay. And now we are getting in a car alright, someone's getting married and I am a witness? Yeah okay "Sim"

The funniest example of this was when we were shopping today and I had brought an apple because I knew I would probably be hungry so of course, I waited until we were walking out and I start chomping on this apple and everyone just goes "oh my gosh where did she get that apple?" "Do you know, no.. do you know?" and they just freak ahhhh it's the best. 

I am not going to lie though. Especially being in a new place with people who don't really understand me or I can't really connect with like normal I have really gained the appreciation of what it means to listen. To actually listen. So many people in our world just talk and talk and when other people are talking are just thinking about what they are going to say next, and I am totally victim to this. But because of the fact that I literally CANNOT speak, it's been amazing to see how much people need to just be understood, and how powerful the eyes are when making connections with people. Man my love for them and the restored gospel of Christ just increases every day. If you want a really good verse, look up 1 Nephi 17:13.   ("And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.")

God is so real.

LOVE YOU ALL. 

Sister Staheli

my Brazilian companions

view outside apartment

walking the streets of Cidade Verde