Week 8 - Anyone know what a broken toe looks like?

Ok I'm not entirely sure how but when we were walking, one of my companions cut in front of me and my foot hit the bottom of her shoe, which wouldn't have been a problem EXCEPT for the obvious fact that she has some pretty heavy duty shoes and I am, of course, in Chacos right, so it hurt but I shook it off.   Mas... but then by the end of the day, they were purple and had swollen to like 3 TIMES the normal size.

Before you freak mom, I am still able to walk okay and one of the members looked at it last night and we don't think they are broken #whoopwhoop #blessingsofbeingamissionary 

This week was SO MUCH BETTER. I am actually starting to actually understand a little better what people are saying instead of just sitting there and smiling during lunch and hoping that whatever they just said was not a question other than "De onde vocé é?" (Where are you from?) Okay here's the thing that is so much harder about actually learning a language in real life than in high school - I realized that I was totally approaching the language sometimes like a multiple choice test right, like oh yeah conversaçáo = conversation I can DO THIS. But then recognizing the word on paper and then actually needing that word in your mind during a conversation apparently are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. The thing is though, this place is seriously so amazing and you are motivated by the desire to make real connections with the people around you, to understand a new culture and to appreciate the things they value and find beautiful that it really isn't that hard to find the motivation to study or always be learning. 

---Also STILL BLOWN AWAY by how well children can pray. Every time they open their mouths I just expect the same broken language and grammar that I have, but BOY THEY ARE GOOD. 

Also WOW certain foods here are either dirt cheap,or 10 MILLION reais!! And it's really funny to see what types of things that people are willing to spend their money on. So at the grocery store, I saw some quinoa and I was like whoop that looks great, but no price tag so I am a little suspicious. By the time I get to the checkout, I forgot about it and then she rings it up and its like 16 (!! which is a lot compared to the 1,50 can of peas right) but it was way too big of a pain to correct her. So my companions are so blown away by the fact I just bought that but then later that day, they were raving about this entire body hair removal that costs $100 and they didn't even bat an eye! Eu náo sei (I do not know) amigos. 

Something I really love about being a missionary though is the feeling and silence that exists as we are walking away from a really powerful lesson. It's like we don't even have to say anything to know the power of what just happened. That we just got to be instruments and conduits of the pure love and spirit of Christ, if only for a few minutes. So much of each day is just powerful and things like that don't need words to muddle things. The "tongue of angels", the language of the spirit is something that can't be stopped by anything because this is literally the most important mission that God has on this Earth. It's why we are all here - to help and lift and bless. But mostly to love. 

Found a scripture that reminded me of my sister Rachel - look it up for a little touch of love in your life! 1 John 4:7-9 (I think)

(7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.)

MUITO AMOR DE BRASIL

Sister Staheli

Week 7 - I'm in Cidade Verde, Natal, Brasil

Wow guys I made it. 

I am sitting in Cidade Verde, NATAL. BRASIL. Ok realmente, I thought we were in Brasil but I realized that the CTM was realistically more like an American hotel that just happens to have foreign guests and also apparently really REALLY likes rice and beans, and for some reason everyone is speaking Portugues.. But I am actually here and I am really starting to be immersed in this people and this new culture and WOW do I love it. 

Ok people totally all kiss each other here when you meet just like I was expecting/had been told, BUT what I have realized is that you have to EARN THE KISS. Not everyone will just kiss anyone off the street, ESPECIALLY a new americano who they have never met before. But don't worry amigos, by the end of each visit you already know who got the biggest smooch ;] 

No but really it's so funny being from the States here for several reasons: 

1. I totally stick out. First off with how I look - pretty much everyone we pass on the streets will just sit and STARE and everyone wants to touch my hair and pinch my cheeks it's hilarious. But also I stick out because not only am I totally only understanding maybe (strong maybe) 40% of what people are saying, absolutely NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND ME. Oh my gosh it's the funniest thing, we will be having a conversation with someone and I spend you know, a good majority of the time trying to build up the courage to say something that I have been rehearsing in my mind for the past 10 minutes but when I actually speak, everyone just stops and goes... 'Que??' and then my companions (I'm in a trio) have to repeat legit I swear THE EXACT SAME THING I just said and then everyone somehow understands. "Que???" But it's funny because they aren't really sure how much I can understand and so sometimes when we are talking with people and they had just asked me to say the prayer (of course make the American who doesn't know the difference between por and para say it) and they just go, wow.. she's um different. (Also heard the phrase "sem jeito" which please do yourself the favor of looking up AHHHH).  (I looked it up - Awkward)

2. We are totally babies! Not only because we are new to the missionary lifestyle and the planning and the street contacting but also because I am totally at the will of my companions. It's almost like I'm kind of like a pet or a little child who doesn't really talk much but they have to lug around everywhere but also make sure I am getting enough food. IT'S SO FUNNY. Like ok we are walking now, don't know where but that's okay. Yep these houses look so nice and colorful I love it oh! ok we are going to knock on this one, don't know what lesson we are going to teach but that's okay. And now we are getting in a car alright, someone's getting married and I am a witness? Yeah okay "Sim"

The funniest example of this was when we were shopping today and I had brought an apple because I knew I would probably be hungry so of course, I waited until we were walking out and I start chomping on this apple and everyone just goes "oh my gosh where did she get that apple?" "Do you know, no.. do you know?" and they just freak ahhhh it's the best. 

I am not going to lie though. Especially being in a new place with people who don't really understand me or I can't really connect with like normal I have really gained the appreciation of what it means to listen. To actually listen. So many people in our world just talk and talk and when other people are talking are just thinking about what they are going to say next, and I am totally victim to this. But because of the fact that I literally CANNOT speak, it's been amazing to see how much people need to just be understood, and how powerful the eyes are when making connections with people. Man my love for them and the restored gospel of Christ just increases every day. If you want a really good verse, look up 1 Nephi 17:13.   ("And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.")

God is so real.

LOVE YOU ALL. 

Sister Staheli

my Brazilian companions

view outside apartment

walking the streets of Cidade Verde

Week 6

I MADE IT

I didn't know I would have time but my mission president is allowing all of us to write a little bit home!

NATAL IS BEAUTIFUL. It is so much more nature-y and beautiful than Sao Paulo oh my goodness I can’t wait to send you pictures. LOVE YOU GOT TO RUN

Muito Amor

Week 5

I HAVE NO TIME AND IM SO SAD.

I have 30 MINUTES. I leave for the field in less than a week!!!  This week has been the most amazing thing, we started having infield training again for the field next week and I SERIOUSLY UNDERSTOOD SO MUCH IT WAS AMAZING. She was speaking so so fast and some of it was in Spanish but its like crazy how fast its clicked!

We went to the temple for the last time this week and it was crazy how much I realized I am going to miss it the next 2 years. 

I’m sorry I promise to be better next week but we leave Tuesday morning for Natal and then we don’t have a p-day until the following Monday! SO IT WILL BE A WHILE BUT i LOVE YOU AND I HAVE TO GO IM SORRY

Week 4

OH MY GOSH THEY ARE ONLY GIVING US 30 MINUTES THIS WEEK.

Ok so I am going to try to give this week justice in the crazy short amount of time, but there are really no amount of words for how amazing it was!! I have absolutely NO clue why, but this past week was just such an anomaly it was crazy so I am going to try to bullet point list this out:

- Oh my goodness. MY INSTRUCTOR IS GETTING MARRIED. He literally walks into class one day and we know that he has been dating one of the other teachers here so we tease him about it a little, but apparently he was at the temple and he prayed about it and he just knew. So no ring, growing up not even thinking he might get married PERIOD, in his broken English he is telling us this and Irmao just got so bashful and happy about it ahhh it was the best. 

    ----Ok so of course we flip out and are so excited for him right and we all ate dinner that night as a little familia and the GREATEST THING happened. So we were talking about pets and one of the elders asks Dilhea if he has any dogs right and he goes yeah one, and then poor elder Pabst (who is seriously one of the nicest guys but really REALLY doesn’t know Portugues) turns to Dilhea's fiance and means to say 'e voce?' but he forgets right and just says 'voce????' and everyone kind of stops because it sounds like he just asked if Dilhea's pet dog was his new fiance-soon-to-be-wife and then his face goes super red and he looks at this beef cake of an instructor scared for his life and the fiance is practically rolling on the floor she's laughing so hard it was great hahaha

But for real for real, the MOST AMAZING PART of this week was that they actually released us, RELEASED US like lost guppies into the streets of Sao Paulo to go proselyting!!!!! Ok they amp you up right and they say ok I know you guys know hardly any of this language but we're dropping you off in the middle of the equivalent of Time's Square in New York to try to talk to people and come away with their phone number and address for missionaries to share a message with them. TALK ABOUT STRESSFUL HOLY COW. 

If I am being completely honest right now though, it was the most amazing experience of my entire life. Even though we really had such a small overlap in language, there are no words needed for shared emotions you know? We went up and would ask people if they could help us try to learn some new words and it just hit me how much I loved each and every one of them. We met a sweet older lady who LOVES to cook named Maria whose favorite food is stroganoff and that she has the most amazing recipe that she cannot WAIT to make for us one day, another man named Sergio sitting waiting for the bus reading a book by Orson Scott and is a Buddhist who came from Brasilia and hates it, I tried to express to him through wild hand gestures and the limited vocab I DID have (insecto insecto!) about how I had an uncle who served there and who TO THIS DAY has a little stomach parasite (lol sorry Glenn hehe) and we shared laughs even though we couldn't say the same words. Every one of them smiling and laughing, helping us learn, and I just sat basking in the awe of it all. I love how each one of them just burned with this inner light of Christ, each one so kind and bright. It was one of those moments when you realize that we are all just here on earth together you know as brothers and sisters, and that we just need to be there for each other. Each one so excited to have us return and share our testimonies and love of Christ, but I will probably never see them ever again, they'll be visited by other missionaries who are serving here in Sao Paulo but I just can't imagine being anywhere else. 

Especially in the temple today, I really just sat and contemplated how I wanted my life to be, and whether I was the same person that I was before I started my mission. Man I just want to feel this close to God, the strength and support of His spirit ALL THE TIME and it hit me that we totally can. We just owe every blessing that we have to Him, and especially I can't get over how much we are blessed to have families.

I LOVE CHRIST.       I LOVE MY FAMILY.       I LOVE BRASIL. 

Next week will be my last email before the field!! Can't believe I've been here that long, but love you all! Thank you for the letters I am so sorry I had such little time this week, I promise to write you all next week!! 

HAPPY FOURTH AMERICA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!      

Com muito amor,     

Sister Staheli

Week 3

Man I seriously love you guys so much. 

I am sorry but because of the world cup game this week, they changed our P-day to today because all the streets get CRAZY DANGEROUS oh my gosh it’s the coolest thing being here during the cuppo do mundo (GO BRASIL)!! You guys will have to watch it for me and maybe give me some context for all the honking and screaming we have every game day here ahhh I love it. 

Ok I just have to say it. 

I AM TIRED OF EATING HAM AND CHEESE SANDWICHES FOR BREAKFAST. I`m sorry lovely pessoas de Brasil I really need to up meu diario manteiga de amendoim (peanut butter) intake  agora ahhh #stillloveyouthough

So this week had pretty high levels of exhilarating fun\stress (I`m learning those two usually come hand-in-hand as a missionary) because we got to do splits with the native Brasileiro companheras!! It is seriously the funniest thing because I`m actually starting to empathize with every asian tourist I have ever seen who can only say `selfie????` in ingles because legit NONE of these natives can understand us. What happens is that pretty much they throw you into a huge room and all you have is a sheet with the name of your companhero and then there are like 40 other missionaries in there ALSO yelling around trying to find their comp. Then once you DO manage to find them, you have legitimately 15 MINUTES to try to plan a lesson for a made-up pesquisador (another americo\brasileiro duo) which is stressful in and of itself, but then add on the fact that there is literally no way you are both speaking the same language. 

I thought I was doing pretty well until it was like BOOM asldkjf;slakdufdkfksufiejiukjdkjf and then you just go `umm repita por favor?` and then you feel dumb because they sit and piece one word at a time what they are trying to say, give up, and then just end up trying to make up for the fact their companion has no idea what is going on during the lesson... it`s actually the best I LOVE IT. I was actually able to understand a decent amount of what was being said too during the lesson, even if I was only able to bear the most painstakingly simple sentences (I know that Jesus Christ loves you and you have a purpose here...) but it was seriously to put it precisely - exhilaratingly fun yet unbelievably stressful you feel?

I have to say though I am the luckiest person in the world to be able to be here and to be learning the things I am. Every day I am just hit with how much I love my family and how I couldn`t imagine this world without that very cherished and precious gift from Heavenly Father. We got to go to the Capinas temple today too (SO PRETTY, google it!!) and I just felt in every bone how much God loves us. Sister Delahunty and I needed a break from the stress and the pressures we bear every day so we just sat on my bed and started singing hinos out of my little portugues hymn book, and sitting there harmonizing to Nearer My God to Thee (also that song will fill your alma like NONE other), I just was hit with how special it is that we have a Savior who sacrificed everything for us. If you want to think of someone who gave His all, who never could be shaken from His purpose, who sought each and every MINUTE to fill it with love and tenderness for those around Him, we need no greater example. 

For those who really need a pick-me-up look up Mosiah 4;9, it is an amazing verse and is the next one I plan on memorizing! (my goal is 20 before the end of the CTM!). 

Here is the scripture she is talking about…..

9 Believe in ^aGod; believe that he is, and that he ^bcreated all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all ^cwisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not ^dcomprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.

Love you all, also sorry I don`t have pictures they don`t let us send any out of the CTM because it crashes the system #darnthemall #justkiddingloveallmissionaries

MUCHO AMOR, 

Sister Staheli

Week 2 - I had my first dream in Portuguese this week

I HAD MY FIRST DREAM IN PORTUGUESE THIS WEEK. 

Ok I am sorry for not being able to respond to everyone´s emails last week, there is hardly any time!!! But I promise to do better this week:) 

Wow I seriously love this place. 

So this week we had to hop in the van again to drive through San Paulo to the Policía Federalía for stuff with our visa which was SO NICE because we essentially spend every minute in the same room for 8+ hours a day, the only break being our actividade física at night time  where they have a volleyball/basketball court, a mini gym with ping pong tables and weights, and the most hilarious little tiny track to run on!  Imagine an alley between two buildings and then pave a little circle with some pull-up bars in the middle. We tracked it and its like 20 laps to get to a mile and a half so it feels like I´m a little hamster in a spinning wheel that doesn´t go anywhere haha :) But it is my saving grace I LIVE FOR THAT HAMSTER BALL. Also another thing about this place is that all of their toilet paper is already torn into little 2 square pieces, and everytime I go to grab some it feels like a legit napkin dispenser!! (which as weird as it sounds is actually so nice haha). 

On our P-day we got to walk around the city of Sáo Paulo and explore a little bit which was the most amazing thing because it was exactly the perspective that you start to miss when learning the lessons and teaching and trying to absorb Portugues as quickly as you can. My companion and I really struggled this week because initially, we would just sit and plan our lessons so painstakingly deliberate and exact - trying to copy down and translate all these sentences because we wanted our phrases to be exact and correct but we would spend like 2 hours preparing a 20 minute lesson..  TO OUR INSTRUCTOR who was just pretending to be an investigator. And the thing was, even with all of that planning, I would still go into the lessons and just feel SO STRESSED and it was the most frustrating thing. There was one lesson that we were about to go into and I just kind of broke and started crying RIGHT before we walked in and poor Sister Barlow was just like ahhh.. I have no idea how to handle this kind of thing ?!?! And then while she was praying, SHE started crying and it was one of the most humbling moments of these past two weeks, especially because the two of us have really been able to pick up the language a little easier than the other missionaries in our district. But the amazing thing about that lesson was that we stopped trying to just do it all ourselves. I realized that by being so meticulous and exact about everything, we really were not leaving much room for relying on the spirit and the REAL converting power right, we just wanted to try to handle it all ourselves. When we stopped being that block, the spirit was able to be there and the amazing thing is that we went into our lessons with almost NO stress at all (which is pretty incredible considering up to this point) because we knew that we were standing in place of our Savior, letting our love for them replace any fear of not being able to teach whatever lesson about the Book of Mormon wrong or with the wrong grammar. It was so powerful. 

The language is actually starting to click though it´s amazing how much I feel the prayers on our behalf working and Heavenly Father giving us the extra boost to do His work. I essentially say every prayer I can in Portugues and my companion and I had an jejum de ingles (literally sounds like je-jum je - ingles with all french ´j´s) and I seriously love how fluid the language is! Trying to translate things is actually hilarious though because we are looking up so many words in the dicionario and asking people without any real context so I feel like Chandler from Friends who just used a Thesaurus to replace words and it actually just creates a lot of sentences that make zero sense hahaha. 

But this place is amazing because you just feel so much support and strength, from a outros missionarios, from your irmáos, but most powerfully and most importantly from Christ. Man being able to think about Him and teach others to come unto Him is seriously the coolest thing. 

Love you all and hope things are good!!

Eu amo vocés!!!

Sister Staheli

Week 1 - I'm in Sao Paulo

Ok wow there is seriously SO MUCH I have no idea where to start. 

I´M IN SÁO PAULO.         WOW WOW WOW. 

Ok so its funny because apparently we are the Pilot group where they are switching up the schedule so we totally had a Personal day (P-day) literally the SECOND DAY we were here which was nice but also crazy because we still had no idea what we were doing and then BOOM. INTO SÁO PAULO YOU GO. My grandma has asked for a complete update on the food/culture of Brazil so I though I would just give you a brief glimpse of what its like here and the language and all that jazz - if I can in 15 min.. yikes! 

Ok so the city:

I don´t know what I was expecting but Sáo Paulo is sort of a mixture between San Francisco and Hawaii and Italy.. also add the worst drivers of Provo you could find. :) Apparently it´s one of the biggest cities in the world (drive for 3 hours and you´re still in it) but there are all these beautiful giant tropical flowering trees everywhere and all these hole in the wall stores and outdoor restaurants with people sitting outside on the street corners drinking Guarana and Acaí. The city is really hilly and has all these beautiful big colorful houses all stacked on top of each other but also it definitely looks a little run down in parts too. Actually the CTM (Centro de tranemiento Missionarios or something like that yikes haha) is right in the middle of this area that is a little sketch but also has this super cool little cookie shop next door -- Muito bom!!! 

The food: 

LITERALLY AMAZING. I probably eat the same three meals like every single day haha but for breakfast, they have this soupy porridge-y type of stuff that sometimes has rice or oats or SOME kind of chewies but also.. maybe not, and it tastes like this really sweet delicious cinnamon milk (like horchata??). Then I dont know what it is about Brazilians but they LOVE SANDWICHES. I feel like my mom who ate literally cheese and bread her entire mission because every morning they have this salty ham and cheese and bread that people put into a panini type press and eat it for breakfast. LIKE EVERY DAY. 

Lunchs are usually the best with these BOMB beans and white or brown rice, always a salad type bar with beets (which totally surprises me), some other bean salad usually with tomatoes and squash, usually a lot of sausage or brisket and polenta sometimes too. 

SO GOOD. 

The language:

Portuguese is literally THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD.  Also kind of have a love/hate relatioship but its ok. It is kind of similar to spanish when its written down, except the fact that it sounds like straight FRENCH when you try to speak it!! So many `shhh`and `js´ (think the french jean) and lots of `chi´s too. Me and my companion Sister Barlow (from washington - knows the Walkers) sit with the natives every day and even though we hardly understood anything they said -- we have gotten so much better and they are seriously blown away when we tell them we have only been there for like less than a week! Pretty much accept the fact that you are going to sound like a baby and not be ashamed of it apparently is the way to go. I seriously sat there for like 10 minutes trying to say I had 2 older brothers and a younger sister and they all started to drift you know (you can see it in the eyes) but they are all so cool and patient with us, its the best! I am learning so quickly but I am blown away with how quickly I am learning!

The mission:

Ok so I actually am starting to understand what people mean when they say this is the hardest thing they have ever done.

I am so sorry, the sisters are just pulling us off the computer but I promise to do better next week. 

love you all!! 

Sister Staheli