October 14, 2019
Ah, can I just say how much I love you guys? Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the
love and birthday wishes you all passed my way last week. I really felt loved and hugged a lot by reading
your letters and eating my mom’s homemade granola. My pday/birthday was consumed with a
leadership conference and a trip to the Fed police station, but I did manage to
talk to my parents the last 30 minutes of the day. That was enough to make the day great.
I’m sure you are all tired of hearing this, but this
really was a week of miracles. I don’t
think I’ll ever get over how amazing it is to see hearts being touched and changed
by the power of the spirit and people earnestly opening the dark parts of
themselves to let the light, love and peace of the gospel of Jesus Christ take
away their pain. Or even watching how
sometimes the absence of the spirit is more impacting and shocking than the
constant influence of the spirit we are able to feel.
We really saw this with Eduardo this week (the one that
we chased down). He has been struggling
with one of the commandments ever since we started teaching him. But when we taught him that it was wrong, he
kind of laughed it off and continued on his merry way, without even the slightest
sense of guilt. But then he started
reading the Book of Mormon. He started
praying and then asking questions in his prayers and he began to really feel
the warmth and peaceful presence of the spirit, right? But then in a moment of weakness, he fell
into temptation and caved again. And how
did he feel this time that was entirely different from the previous occasions? Angustra, (distress) overwhelming
shame and guilt, absolutely the worst.
But what made this time so much worse?
Why would this time be any different when it was so easily and guiltlessly
done before?
Because for the first time,
Eduardo had experienced how it felt to lose the spirit. He felt how amazing and comforting it was to
have the spirit with you and then how bare, vulnerable and empty it is without Him. And wow, you don’t even know how he
was seriously in the pits of the pits.
But that was his choice. We asked
him WHO had forced him to be there, WHO had made him feel that way, and I think
because the answer was NOONE other than himself, made him feel all the
worse. And I get it – although his
difficulties are different than mine, I know how he feels. I think we all do – we are all human
right? We ALL have moments when we fall
into the same mistakes and we ALL know how unbearable that pain is. God knows us better than anyone, He literally
CREATED our spirit and gave us our strengths and weaknesses. And the most amazing thing He ever gave us is His son, our Salvador (Savior) Jesus Christ.
Alma 36:17-21
17 And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the
people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for
the sins of the world.
18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my
heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.
19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no
more.
20 And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was
filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!
21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so
exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my
son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was
my joy.
The atonement of Jesus Christ is real and has the ability
to change us. Turn our pain into joy and
guilt into peace. But it can’t happen by
itself, we need to seek after it. I’m so
grateful for my Savior. I know He’s
ready and willing to forgive each one of us. Trust in
Him and do those things that invite the spirit to be with you. I promise that you will be all the more happy
because of it.
LOVE YOU ALL
Sister Staheli
