Week 21 -- 'Am Murry'

So apparently in Portugues, NOT ONE WORD ever ends with the sound of 'n' (or a lot of hard consonants like in English) and so every time that I try to describe what my name is people have the hardest time. They legitimately can't form the 'n', AND all of their names end with a lift at the end (sorry a little hard to describe) but all are super fluid and connected like French.  So when it comes to my name Anne Marie people usually get flustered and confused and usually turns into a very beautiful "ahh.. so it's Am Murry???" Which just gets a lot of pitiful glances. #smhmom #callmeMarialikeeveryoneelsenexttimepls

Had a pretty hard-stopping experience this week with my companion on the way back from a meeting with our new ward mission leader, who by the way lives about a 45/50 minute walk from our apartment.. at 9 at night.. with no one around.. around the borders of the arena Das Dunas

 (Look it up! It was built for the World Cup one year and is shaped with one overhang taller than the other to catch and circulate the winds that blow in from the sea to cool down everyone inside).. which is a place where at least 2 other duplas (pairs) of sisters have been robbed in the past, one with $600 OFLEGIT AMERICAN MONEY IN HER BAG #smh #americanas.  So we are walking with a little urgency, right and we are crossing this little street, when we see this moto that pulls a little U-ey and turns his bike towards us waiting with this giant black helmet and the only thing visible is this cheshire cat bright white smile. I'm like wow okay lets go - lets go - lets go and we turn to rush by and he's saying something but I really just have a little bit of pure blind panic and adrenaline pumping through my body right. But my companion starts walking TOWARDS HIM and I'm like what are you DOING - and it turns out that the words he had been saying were "I'm a bishop, I'm a bishop, I'm a bishop."

Well you could have said that little EARLIER my buddy. 

But it turns out that he served in the same home ward in São Paulo that my companion lived in, and that he had moved here with his family after the mission and it was crazy because AS a missionary, he had passed lunches in her house - and here she was, in HIS home area, serving a mission. God really is amazing sometimes and if there's one thing I have really gained a testimony of so far, it's that He is SO aware of every single one of us on a very individual level. 

I don't remember exactly where (and sorry I forgot my Book of Mormon) but I was reading Alma 33 and it talked about how important it is that we always remember that, and that we are always aware of Him and talking to Him throughout the day - in our work, when we retire to our rooms, and the verse that I really love is when the prophet is praising God in His mercy and to paraphrase- 

"How merciful is the Lord because He heard MY clamors amongst his congregation". 

I thought about the fact that if all of sudden I was unable to talk to Him, that I never prayed or was allowed to have Him know the thoughts and desires, or just the really hard things that no one else really wants to listen to of my heart. I don't think I had ever felt so alone or more lost just at the thought of never having Him there to listen to me through it all. We are so lucky that we have a Father in heaven who listens to us, loves us no matter how much we fall short despite our efforts to do things right and that the reason that He has this mercy on us IS because of the Savior. 

Always try to keep the One who cherishes you more than any other thing in this world close to your heart and I promise that you will have the strength to carry on through those problems and things that feel too much to bear. Man I wish I had more time to tell you about some of the amazing people I met this week, but really know that there's nothing more important in this life than showing love and gratitude for those we love and He who loves us most. 

SHARE THE LOVE OF THE SAVIOR WITH EVERYONE. PLS.

Muito Amor<3

Sister Staheli

ps. I will buy a new SD card this week to send pictures finally!! sorry folks I have been really trying

Week 20 -- Don't fall for the head massage, it's a trick

Well folks, it happened. 

THEY HAVE COMPLETELY CHOPPED ALL OF MY HAIR. 

We were sitting at this member's house because my companion wanted to do a Brazilian Blowout - where your hair stays straight for EVER and is legit about a 4 HOUR long process - and she asked if I wanted to cut my hair too, which I turned down (smart) because hey I liked my hair right? But my friends, that was BEFORE she started massaging my companion's hair and putting all these lucious creams that were different colors and all I could think was, man it is crazy hot and that would feel so great. and I CAVED okay (dumb). So she starts cutting and I go, okay I really only want barely anything cut, and she just goes like 2 fingers? I go yeah okay beleza. And what started with 'DOIS DEDOS´ soon escalated into 4 or 5 as she insisted that whoever had cut my hair last did it completely wrong and it needed some serious fixing. Trying not to freak out because I really didn't want to offend her but also in AGHAST to what she had just did, you could say my laugh was a little on the please-help-me-this-isn't-real hysterical. XD 

"No really, BONITA.  it looks really good" 

"..... *grimace* *clears throat* ... thank you!  :)(!!!!!)"

So folks that is how I spent my p-day last week, 4 hours and 5 less inches of hair to show for it heheh..  #walkedoutlookingMORElike12yearsoldthanIalreadydid :3 

Another highlight of the week was finally getting the package that my mom sent for the b-day #LOVEYOU. Which really was hilarious because there was nothing that made me more happy than to open all of the packages of sillybands, those dino pills that expand in water, and CTR rings for all the meninos (boys) in the ward and children of the people we teach (all things I had asked for btw) -- my companion was probably like wow this americana is a legit child but there is nothing like feeling that little squeeze of love from home, no matter how small. :)

BUT FOR REAL MY COMPANION IS THE MOST AMAZING PERSON EVER. I have been infinitely impressed with how much she gives all the time. It doesn't matter which house we come across or which family we visit. She is immediately in the kitchen washing dishes, grabbing the mop and scrubbing the floors, grabbing babies out of barely standing, exhausted mothers, and really just being the most genuine conduit of love and service I have ever seen. Sister Feitosa is also the first companion I've had that really has shown a deeper interest and care for me, practicing lessons and giving me feedback, and really just being the person to really help me understand what it means to be a missionary, to be a representative of our Savior. This work is not about the fact we are perfectly hitting all of our goals for new people to teach or the number of lessons we have, it's about love and being His hands. There was this one moment this week that we stopped by the house of a less active mother who has about 4 or 5 young kids and at the door, the little girls said that she had a serious headache and wasn't really feeling up to a visit. We started to turn away, but I really REALLY had to use the restroom right and so we asked if we could just pop in really quickly and they let us in. After ascending the stairs, we entered an apartment completely dark with the exhausted mother lying on her bed with the newborn baby. Passing the kitchen we saw tall towers of dishes from more than just one meal on every space place, old potato peelings and chicken bones scattered around in piles on the counter, all these insects swarming the little trash bucket that sits on the counter by the sink, everything evident of the lack of someone to care for them. Without another word, Sister Feitosa heads toward the tall stack of dishes and starts lathering them with soap and scraping old food into the garbage. Following her example, I quietly join and side-by-side we work to clean, put away, disinfect, and clean every space of this sick young mother's small kitchen that feeds more than 7 or 8 people every day.

 I was looking at my hands the other day and I was thinking about how sometimes when touching something that is under my standards of cleanliness or finding something wet and dirty, my first reaction is to pull back our hands, to avoid contact and protect myself against that which was unclean. And that small kitchen definitely had its share of things that really should not ever be touched. But looking at my hands, I really thought about the reason I had them and what harm really happens when we remove our barriers of discomfort and really use them. My hands are not things to be kept in plastic sleeves, completely unblemished from the stains of the world - my hands were made to serve. They were made to alleviate burdens, to love unconditionally, and to never be held in reserve for something better. If we never stop in our busy lives to not only notice, but ACT upon a need - we are missing the purpose of our existence. 

We have to put into practice the gospel and example that our Savior gave us, not just treasure and appreciate the warmth it brings in our hearts. 

Feeling more than just a little bit humbled. It's a little unreal how much I love my Savior and grateful every day for the hands He has given me to serve. 

  

love everyone you can folks - not just with your heart, but with your hands.  

SENDING MUITO AMOR DE BRASIL, 

Sister Staheli <3

Week 19 -- Transfers

Well friends, you know what happens the moment you find a mango tree and have a baptism scheduled the following weekend with the sweetest Marlene with her pink bible and you just turned 20 years old and have many progressing almas (souls) ready to accept the gospel and life is good?

You get transferred. 

#whoopwhoop

And wow this new area is CRAZY and just KINDA OF DIFFERENT. 

So I was transferred to the ala Natal, as in NATAL,NATAL. Which is in the city with 5 or 6 bairros (neighborhoods) and onibuses and 2 shopping malls and everyone is practically running all the time because they are in such a hurry and essentially completely different than the smallest little residential area of Cidade Verde. The crazy thing is that I am serving in the first ala (ward) that was ever established in all of Rio Grande do Norte!! Including the fact that we meet in the very first capela (chapel) that was ever built here - which is very cool and very small. But what is crazy is that the work here is completely different, which was apparent with my first visit to the capela - there was just trash everywhere on the ground including old wrappers and plastic cups, INSIDE the fence. It is a ward that really everyone has forgotten about and the members are not very strong, and really I have discovered they need a lot of love. The number of people actually in the records of the ward number almost about 572, but weekly just a little over 85 is the normal frequency rate. So my first day here was not spent as a normal day going around meeting new people to teach and doing a lot of street contacting - it was spent jumping house to house nurturing and visiting those members who haven't made it to church in a month or more, have forgotten what the Book of Mormon is about, or are too sick to leave their home yet still haven't received a visit from a loved one or amigo. I have been learning that here, the ward doesn't need more names on the long list of members who don't come or are being forgotten by the world - not throwing more seeds onto the ground but nurturing the roots and young saplings that are already struggling to survive. Some people get distracted with the numbers and the pressures to have physical evidence of your success as a missionary, but what really is important is that these are real people needing real love. 

This week I really had my eyes reopened to just how much Heavenly Father loves His children, and just such immense gratitude for my family which is such a funny random thing. But when I was bent over, picking up all the trash that littered the ground of the capela I remembered one time when we were visiting our family in Sun Valley and we stopped by the church to practice piano for a couple hours (#dedicated) and my sweet mother who spent the 2 hours stooped pulling weeds and making an effort to make the house of the Lord a little more lovely, not because of anyone else, but because she really just loves Him. 

Man how much I love them is just unreal.

Give your family a little extra love this week folks, having a family that speaks kindly and tries to have a little more patience with one another, who listens when they have had a hard day, or simply there to laugh and make pancakes and cinnamon syrup - yo there's NOTHING BETTER.

Also funny thought - 

I don't know what it is, but literally EVERY day since I turned 20, everyone in the whole world has asked me how old I am. Which really isn't that weird until you start figuring out that they are all wondering how you can be serving a mission because you look like you're SIXTEEN. I kid you not everyone is INCREDULOUS when I say that I am 20.  So I started asking people how old they thought I was and this was the most priceless example:

- asked a little girl who had 10 years and she says: hmmmm 13?

So yep, staying fresh and young folks despite entering the second decade of my life so don't stress about me getting old or anything :)

Also sorry my SD card for my camera has been entirely a pain and hasn't been recognizing my pictures but I'll try to look for a new card for next week!

MUITO AMOR,

Sister Staheli

Week 18 -- General Conference

I just can't even tell you how amazing it was to watch General Conference this weekend and I'm sure you all felt how strong the spirit was. There is just nothing that I am more sure of than the fact that these men really are ordained of God and that He really has a plan for every single one of us. I thought it was interesting that almost every talk was about really taking the name of Christ upon us, but I was especially struck by the talk that talked about how Heavenly Father hasn't been preparing us to just be obedient dogs that will fetch his slippers but children that will grow to help run the family business. That the commandments, every new change, everything has really been to help us become more independent in our desire to learn - that He has been guiding us to develop these heavenly divine character traits that will really help Him know He can trust us no matter what. I really can't describe the conviction and just plain knowing in my heart that we are living in the last days and that every moment is really so important. That we are doing everything we can to help bring those around us to Christ and that we are really there with Him ourselves. It was just the coolest thing. 

My birthday was really so amazing - no one can believe that I turned 20 (I think they all were thinking MAYBE 18 - curse these young Staheli genes). But it was great I woke up and Silva my companion had put probably about 100 little colorful sticky notes everywhere and balloons and they sang to me after I got out of the bathroom.  Then in between sessions they surprised me with this TABLE FULL OF FRUIT. Oh my gosh it made my heart so happy you don't even know it was HILARIOUS, because they know I really don't like bolo.  They had set out a huge watermelon, apples, guavas, papaya, pineapple, tangerines, and a crazy beautiful assortment of fruits.  OH - and I wanted to make crepes and cinnamon syrup for my companions of the house and so completely improvised and it totally was fine! 

But THEN TRANSFERS HAPPENED. And of course after all this, Presidente and the Lord have decided that I am needed in another place - so I have been moved to the area Natal, Natal. It’s just a little sad because it’s like you've run the race, see the end and then have to go back and start again. So I won't see the baptism of Marlene or Heluiza but I know that the Lord would only direct me to where I am most needed. So off I go, I know that He really knows best. 

Muito amor!!

Sister Staheli

Week 17 -- I FOUND UM ARVORE DE MANGA EM (a mango tree in) CIDADE VERDE

Okay Sunday was definitely the CRAZIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. Honestly the whole week in general if I wrote describing every small and huge thing that happens every week, my email would literally be 10 pgs - the mission is BEM CORRIDA (well run). I wish I could sit and tell you about all of the people and experiences I am having, but just know this little taste doesn't even do them justice. 

Yesterday, we left early in the morning for a compromisso (commitment/appointment) and this week we were a little behind our metas (goals) because literally EVERY lesson that we have been having with people are often more than an hour long - PACKED with amazing discussions and spirit crushing doutrine (doctrine), these people are actually engaged and asking questions and really listening. So the quality of our lessons is OFF THE CHARTS, but the quantity... yeah a little low this week.. but priorities right? :) So we leave the house early in the morning to finish our numbers and contacts, and boy WHAT A DAY. It was like I haven't been serving in the same, low key, smallest area of the entire mission - Cidade Verde - EVERYTHING was completely unexpected and different, it was the weirdest thing.

 - I found not one, but TWO mango trees that I never knew about, I had an encounter which started with 2 VERY cute and curious (perhaps uncomfortably curious) monkeys but soon escalated into 5 or 6 staring down from the tree exactly over my head. They start off cute but when there starts to be enough monkeys for every leg, arm, AND CABEÇA (head).. you start to fear for your life a little - not going to lie. 

- So we have this little side street/alley that we literally walk EVERY DAY about 4 or 5 times because it has a lot of people, but they all know and recognize the missionaries because we have been here forever right. But they always have this same group of men that are always drunk even at 10 in the morning and we usually just smile and say "bom dia" (good morning) and pass by right. BUT yesterday we just pass by and these two are together and call out "hey where's MY convite" (invitation) (for church right) and we just respond yep today at 3, you are all welcome! Which turned into this conversation where my companion is talking to one and I am talking with the other, and somehow I end up leaving with his fresh caju (cashews) and tangerine he just bought (I still don't know how), but we are about to leave and Alexandro goes "Hey I want to be taught". Ok beleza, (beautiful) marked a time with him later on (which don't stress because we're bringing Jóse our recent convert, but then he leans in really close and goes "If anyone messes with you guys, ele vai VIAJAR." (he will travel) Which means exactly what you think it means. XD And apparently he is in some type of gang and everyone knows him, (he is completely drunk this whole time so I am still a little unsure how much of this is reliable), but hey I sure slept more soundly last night let me tell you! 

- Ok this one I still DIE, IT'S SO FUNNY. We meet the cutest little kitten on the street and I kid you not, I really don't like gatos (cats) but this guy was PRECIOUS, black and white and rugged and TINY. But of course we become the greatest of friends and coax him through the gate of our condominium and he follows us all the way to our building, with us dangling our keys in front of him and making cat sounds. I don't really know how this happened but we are going INTO the elevador and everyone is still coaxing and joking around, but then he actually ENTERS THE ELEVADOR and the door closes and I am still not believing what is going on but everyone is dying. We reach our floor and coax little Friend, out the door, into the hallway, INTO OUR APARTMENT. Oh my lanta folks it was seriously the funniest thing in the whole world. I was like guys we can't keep him here and they all just said, only for one night our apartment allows animals! Soooo what happens? We make him a little bed out of a basket and towel, cut up some sausage that Hernandez had and some water, the whole time he is just meowing and doing little cute summersaults IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING. We lasted about 15 minutes and then let him back out into the wild. Ahhhh what a good 15 minutes though. 

And then we had an opportunity to teach Fatima, who is the aunt of one of the most amazing people I have met on the mission Jessi. She was one of the first people who really embraced me and showed me such love when I came into the mission. We are always over at her house, eating couscous or singing songs as she plays the guitar, and she is really like an older sister to me that I really needed. But her aunt has been living with them for some time, always accepting but never really interested in the church or anything, but had an experience that really touched her and asked to have us come over to teach her. Wow, I can't even begin to describe how tender of a spirit this woman has or how the Lord has been preparing her. I will tell you more about her next week because I am low on time, but with every scripture that we left, she read them MULTIPLE times. So we entered the lesson prepped with this lesson that we had been preparing but, in the beginning of the lesson, she starts telling us about her life and the hardships that she has gone through. And soon we are all crying, sharing scriptures and basking in the felicidade (happiness) that our Heavenly Father never leaves us comfortless, that when we are at our most humble we are really the most happy because we have the clearest of perspectives. Our lesson soon switched to one about the plan of happiness that God has specifically for her and Jessi bore her heart about how grateful she was that we can live with our families for eternity. It really is a profound truth that we take for granted. Imagine it, really. Never being alone, surrounded for all eternity with those you love more than anything else. It was a moment when the spirit came in and filled the cracks of every corner of our hearts and souls. I am infinitely grateful for the beauty of the gospel.

This weekend is literally one of the most AMAZING times of the year, when we really get to hear the words that our Heavenly Father wants us to hear, counsel for questions and doubts we never even realized we needed, and to really witness the greatest tender mercy of having a living Prophet that has been called of God to guide us. Please ponder and really come with an open heart ready to learn, because sometimes we really think we already know everything there is to know in life when really we are all still children in the sight of God you know? 

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE. HUG YOUR MOM

SAY YOUR PRAYERS

Muito amor!!

Sister Staheli