Week 22 - Week of Miracles

Wow okay something that I will absolutely NEVER get tired of is all the new tropical fruits they have here that neither I nor my companion (who is BRASILEIRA) have ever heard of. 

banana de cozinha (banana to cook)

The fruits I have eaten so far:

- at least 4 different types of bananas (ranging from the size of your pinky to the size of your forearm)

- Goiba ( which I think is guava)

- Maracuaja (passion fruit)

- 3 different types of MANGOS (I think this is my favorite)

- Acerola (I don't think this has a translation in English)

- Mamão (papaya -- hehe @meganstaheli ;) ) 

- Abacaxi (pineapple), melancia (watermelon)

- Coco Verde (green coconut)

- AÇAI

Jambo

and the newest from the week: Jambo (which if I'm being completely honest, doesn't taste all that good but hey we don't discriminate)

Wow - had a lot of miracles this week, sometimes so many and so frequent that I forget how miraculous they all are.

One with a recent convert who had literally NOTHING in the house to make for us that day, but it was her day to feed the missionaries. When we called, she desperately scrounged the house but came up with little more than rice and beans, but not wanting to turn us away and in a complete act of faith - confirmed lunch and tried to think of what to do. They have about 4 or 5 people who live in that house and as she is scrounging for money looking for money to buy at least a little bit of sausage, there's a clap at the door. Turns out her neighbor (who is not a member) found that she had too much chicken and carne (meat) in her fridge and was on her way to give it away to a friend but felt impressed to drop by Cynthia to ask if they needed it. Needless to say that she was shaken with the almost immediate result of her faith and selfless desire to serve the missionaries the best that she could no matter that she had nothing herself to give. She stood up and bore her testimony crying this Sunday just overwhelmed with the hand of the Lord in her life. So we arrived that day, not realizing that anything was that different or spectacularly different about another meal with an amazing member that we love, but for her it was the most powerful manifestation of God being aware of her. My companion was reminded of the widow in the bible (1 Kings 17) who had only a little bit of flour in her house to make a meal for her starving son, but was approached by the prophet Elijah and asked to make him food first and THEN for her son. Overwhelmed because she knew that she really didn't have anything to give but filled with faith, she obediently made the bread for the prophet and only after her selfless sacrifice realized that she had more than enough to fill the empty bellies of both her and her starving child. 

God really blesses those who put their faith in Him, and sacrifice for Him even when they think they have nothing to give. 

Hope that Halloween was popping and that every child out there reined in a king's feast of candy. I tried to get the people of Natal hyped about Halloween but apparently Dia dos Bruxas (day of the witches) really doesn't have as positive connotations here. But had the cute little 2 year old menina (girl) of Cynthia on my side who was riding around with a broom in between her legs and offered to say the prayer that went a little like this:

Thank you for our table.

Halloween #bee #nailedit

I'm a bad witch. 

AMEN.

Love you all and hope that you make an effort to act in faith and trust that He will bless you more than you can imagine. 

MUITO AMOR,

Jessi

Sister Staheli

Week 21 -- 'Am Murry'

So apparently in Portugues, NOT ONE WORD ever ends with the sound of 'n' (or a lot of hard consonants like in English) and so every time that I try to describe what my name is people have the hardest time. They legitimately can't form the 'n', AND all of their names end with a lift at the end (sorry a little hard to describe) but all are super fluid and connected like French.  So when it comes to my name Anne Marie people usually get flustered and confused and usually turns into a very beautiful "ahh.. so it's Am Murry???" Which just gets a lot of pitiful glances. #smhmom #callmeMarialikeeveryoneelsenexttimepls

Had a pretty hard-stopping experience this week with my companion on the way back from a meeting with our new ward mission leader, who by the way lives about a 45/50 minute walk from our apartment.. at 9 at night.. with no one around.. around the borders of the arena Das Dunas

 (Look it up! It was built for the World Cup one year and is shaped with one overhang taller than the other to catch and circulate the winds that blow in from the sea to cool down everyone inside).. which is a place where at least 2 other duplas (pairs) of sisters have been robbed in the past, one with $600 OFLEGIT AMERICAN MONEY IN HER BAG #smh #americanas.  So we are walking with a little urgency, right and we are crossing this little street, when we see this moto that pulls a little U-ey and turns his bike towards us waiting with this giant black helmet and the only thing visible is this cheshire cat bright white smile. I'm like wow okay lets go - lets go - lets go and we turn to rush by and he's saying something but I really just have a little bit of pure blind panic and adrenaline pumping through my body right. But my companion starts walking TOWARDS HIM and I'm like what are you DOING - and it turns out that the words he had been saying were "I'm a bishop, I'm a bishop, I'm a bishop."

Well you could have said that little EARLIER my buddy. 

But it turns out that he served in the same home ward in São Paulo that my companion lived in, and that he had moved here with his family after the mission and it was crazy because AS a missionary, he had passed lunches in her house - and here she was, in HIS home area, serving a mission. God really is amazing sometimes and if there's one thing I have really gained a testimony of so far, it's that He is SO aware of every single one of us on a very individual level. 

I don't remember exactly where (and sorry I forgot my Book of Mormon) but I was reading Alma 33 and it talked about how important it is that we always remember that, and that we are always aware of Him and talking to Him throughout the day - in our work, when we retire to our rooms, and the verse that I really love is when the prophet is praising God in His mercy and to paraphrase- 

"How merciful is the Lord because He heard MY clamors amongst his congregation". 

I thought about the fact that if all of sudden I was unable to talk to Him, that I never prayed or was allowed to have Him know the thoughts and desires, or just the really hard things that no one else really wants to listen to of my heart. I don't think I had ever felt so alone or more lost just at the thought of never having Him there to listen to me through it all. We are so lucky that we have a Father in heaven who listens to us, loves us no matter how much we fall short despite our efforts to do things right and that the reason that He has this mercy on us IS because of the Savior. 

Always try to keep the One who cherishes you more than any other thing in this world close to your heart and I promise that you will have the strength to carry on through those problems and things that feel too much to bear. Man I wish I had more time to tell you about some of the amazing people I met this week, but really know that there's nothing more important in this life than showing love and gratitude for those we love and He who loves us most. 

SHARE THE LOVE OF THE SAVIOR WITH EVERYONE. PLS.

Muito Amor<3

Sister Staheli

ps. I will buy a new SD card this week to send pictures finally!! sorry folks I have been really trying

Week 20 -- Don't fall for the head massage, it's a trick

Well folks, it happened. 

THEY HAVE COMPLETELY CHOPPED ALL OF MY HAIR. 

We were sitting at this member's house because my companion wanted to do a Brazilian Blowout - where your hair stays straight for EVER and is legit about a 4 HOUR long process - and she asked if I wanted to cut my hair too, which I turned down (smart) because hey I liked my hair right? But my friends, that was BEFORE she started massaging my companion's hair and putting all these lucious creams that were different colors and all I could think was, man it is crazy hot and that would feel so great. and I CAVED okay (dumb). So she starts cutting and I go, okay I really only want barely anything cut, and she just goes like 2 fingers? I go yeah okay beleza. And what started with 'DOIS DEDOS´ soon escalated into 4 or 5 as she insisted that whoever had cut my hair last did it completely wrong and it needed some serious fixing. Trying not to freak out because I really didn't want to offend her but also in AGHAST to what she had just did, you could say my laugh was a little on the please-help-me-this-isn't-real hysterical. XD 

"No really, BONITA.  it looks really good" 

"..... *grimace* *clears throat* ... thank you!  :)(!!!!!)"

So folks that is how I spent my p-day last week, 4 hours and 5 less inches of hair to show for it heheh..  #walkedoutlookingMORElike12yearsoldthanIalreadydid :3 

Another highlight of the week was finally getting the package that my mom sent for the b-day #LOVEYOU. Which really was hilarious because there was nothing that made me more happy than to open all of the packages of sillybands, those dino pills that expand in water, and CTR rings for all the meninos (boys) in the ward and children of the people we teach (all things I had asked for btw) -- my companion was probably like wow this americana is a legit child but there is nothing like feeling that little squeeze of love from home, no matter how small. :)

BUT FOR REAL MY COMPANION IS THE MOST AMAZING PERSON EVER. I have been infinitely impressed with how much she gives all the time. It doesn't matter which house we come across or which family we visit. She is immediately in the kitchen washing dishes, grabbing the mop and scrubbing the floors, grabbing babies out of barely standing, exhausted mothers, and really just being the most genuine conduit of love and service I have ever seen. Sister Feitosa is also the first companion I've had that really has shown a deeper interest and care for me, practicing lessons and giving me feedback, and really just being the person to really help me understand what it means to be a missionary, to be a representative of our Savior. This work is not about the fact we are perfectly hitting all of our goals for new people to teach or the number of lessons we have, it's about love and being His hands. There was this one moment this week that we stopped by the house of a less active mother who has about 4 or 5 young kids and at the door, the little girls said that she had a serious headache and wasn't really feeling up to a visit. We started to turn away, but I really REALLY had to use the restroom right and so we asked if we could just pop in really quickly and they let us in. After ascending the stairs, we entered an apartment completely dark with the exhausted mother lying on her bed with the newborn baby. Passing the kitchen we saw tall towers of dishes from more than just one meal on every space place, old potato peelings and chicken bones scattered around in piles on the counter, all these insects swarming the little trash bucket that sits on the counter by the sink, everything evident of the lack of someone to care for them. Without another word, Sister Feitosa heads toward the tall stack of dishes and starts lathering them with soap and scraping old food into the garbage. Following her example, I quietly join and side-by-side we work to clean, put away, disinfect, and clean every space of this sick young mother's small kitchen that feeds more than 7 or 8 people every day.

 I was looking at my hands the other day and I was thinking about how sometimes when touching something that is under my standards of cleanliness or finding something wet and dirty, my first reaction is to pull back our hands, to avoid contact and protect myself against that which was unclean. And that small kitchen definitely had its share of things that really should not ever be touched. But looking at my hands, I really thought about the reason I had them and what harm really happens when we remove our barriers of discomfort and really use them. My hands are not things to be kept in plastic sleeves, completely unblemished from the stains of the world - my hands were made to serve. They were made to alleviate burdens, to love unconditionally, and to never be held in reserve for something better. If we never stop in our busy lives to not only notice, but ACT upon a need - we are missing the purpose of our existence. 

We have to put into practice the gospel and example that our Savior gave us, not just treasure and appreciate the warmth it brings in our hearts. 

Feeling more than just a little bit humbled. It's a little unreal how much I love my Savior and grateful every day for the hands He has given me to serve. 

  

love everyone you can folks - not just with your heart, but with your hands.  

SENDING MUITO AMOR DE BRASIL, 

Sister Staheli <3

Week 19 -- Transfers

Well friends, you know what happens the moment you find a mango tree and have a baptism scheduled the following weekend with the sweetest Marlene with her pink bible and you just turned 20 years old and have many progressing almas (souls) ready to accept the gospel and life is good?

You get transferred. 

#whoopwhoop

And wow this new area is CRAZY and just KINDA OF DIFFERENT. 

So I was transferred to the ala Natal, as in NATAL,NATAL. Which is in the city with 5 or 6 bairros (neighborhoods) and onibuses and 2 shopping malls and everyone is practically running all the time because they are in such a hurry and essentially completely different than the smallest little residential area of Cidade Verde. The crazy thing is that I am serving in the first ala (ward) that was ever established in all of Rio Grande do Norte!! Including the fact that we meet in the very first capela (chapel) that was ever built here - which is very cool and very small. But what is crazy is that the work here is completely different, which was apparent with my first visit to the capela - there was just trash everywhere on the ground including old wrappers and plastic cups, INSIDE the fence. It is a ward that really everyone has forgotten about and the members are not very strong, and really I have discovered they need a lot of love. The number of people actually in the records of the ward number almost about 572, but weekly just a little over 85 is the normal frequency rate. So my first day here was not spent as a normal day going around meeting new people to teach and doing a lot of street contacting - it was spent jumping house to house nurturing and visiting those members who haven't made it to church in a month or more, have forgotten what the Book of Mormon is about, or are too sick to leave their home yet still haven't received a visit from a loved one or amigo. I have been learning that here, the ward doesn't need more names on the long list of members who don't come or are being forgotten by the world - not throwing more seeds onto the ground but nurturing the roots and young saplings that are already struggling to survive. Some people get distracted with the numbers and the pressures to have physical evidence of your success as a missionary, but what really is important is that these are real people needing real love. 

This week I really had my eyes reopened to just how much Heavenly Father loves His children, and just such immense gratitude for my family which is such a funny random thing. But when I was bent over, picking up all the trash that littered the ground of the capela I remembered one time when we were visiting our family in Sun Valley and we stopped by the church to practice piano for a couple hours (#dedicated) and my sweet mother who spent the 2 hours stooped pulling weeds and making an effort to make the house of the Lord a little more lovely, not because of anyone else, but because she really just loves Him. 

Man how much I love them is just unreal.

Give your family a little extra love this week folks, having a family that speaks kindly and tries to have a little more patience with one another, who listens when they have had a hard day, or simply there to laugh and make pancakes and cinnamon syrup - yo there's NOTHING BETTER.

Also funny thought - 

I don't know what it is, but literally EVERY day since I turned 20, everyone in the whole world has asked me how old I am. Which really isn't that weird until you start figuring out that they are all wondering how you can be serving a mission because you look like you're SIXTEEN. I kid you not everyone is INCREDULOUS when I say that I am 20.  So I started asking people how old they thought I was and this was the most priceless example:

- asked a little girl who had 10 years and she says: hmmmm 13?

So yep, staying fresh and young folks despite entering the second decade of my life so don't stress about me getting old or anything :)

Also sorry my SD card for my camera has been entirely a pain and hasn't been recognizing my pictures but I'll try to look for a new card for next week!

MUITO AMOR,

Sister Staheli

Week 18 -- General Conference

I just can't even tell you how amazing it was to watch General Conference this weekend and I'm sure you all felt how strong the spirit was. There is just nothing that I am more sure of than the fact that these men really are ordained of God and that He really has a plan for every single one of us. I thought it was interesting that almost every talk was about really taking the name of Christ upon us, but I was especially struck by the talk that talked about how Heavenly Father hasn't been preparing us to just be obedient dogs that will fetch his slippers but children that will grow to help run the family business. That the commandments, every new change, everything has really been to help us become more independent in our desire to learn - that He has been guiding us to develop these heavenly divine character traits that will really help Him know He can trust us no matter what. I really can't describe the conviction and just plain knowing in my heart that we are living in the last days and that every moment is really so important. That we are doing everything we can to help bring those around us to Christ and that we are really there with Him ourselves. It was just the coolest thing. 

My birthday was really so amazing - no one can believe that I turned 20 (I think they all were thinking MAYBE 18 - curse these young Staheli genes). But it was great I woke up and Silva my companion had put probably about 100 little colorful sticky notes everywhere and balloons and they sang to me after I got out of the bathroom.  Then in between sessions they surprised me with this TABLE FULL OF FRUIT. Oh my gosh it made my heart so happy you don't even know it was HILARIOUS, because they know I really don't like bolo.  They had set out a huge watermelon, apples, guavas, papaya, pineapple, tangerines, and a crazy beautiful assortment of fruits.  OH - and I wanted to make crepes and cinnamon syrup for my companions of the house and so completely improvised and it totally was fine! 

But THEN TRANSFERS HAPPENED. And of course after all this, Presidente and the Lord have decided that I am needed in another place - so I have been moved to the area Natal, Natal. It’s just a little sad because it’s like you've run the race, see the end and then have to go back and start again. So I won't see the baptism of Marlene or Heluiza but I know that the Lord would only direct me to where I am most needed. So off I go, I know that He really knows best. 

Muito amor!!

Sister Staheli

Week 17 -- I FOUND UM ARVORE DE MANGA EM (a mango tree in) CIDADE VERDE

Okay Sunday was definitely the CRAZIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. Honestly the whole week in general if I wrote describing every small and huge thing that happens every week, my email would literally be 10 pgs - the mission is BEM CORRIDA (well run). I wish I could sit and tell you about all of the people and experiences I am having, but just know this little taste doesn't even do them justice. 

Yesterday, we left early in the morning for a compromisso (commitment/appointment) and this week we were a little behind our metas (goals) because literally EVERY lesson that we have been having with people are often more than an hour long - PACKED with amazing discussions and spirit crushing doutrine (doctrine), these people are actually engaged and asking questions and really listening. So the quality of our lessons is OFF THE CHARTS, but the quantity... yeah a little low this week.. but priorities right? :) So we leave the house early in the morning to finish our numbers and contacts, and boy WHAT A DAY. It was like I haven't been serving in the same, low key, smallest area of the entire mission - Cidade Verde - EVERYTHING was completely unexpected and different, it was the weirdest thing.

 - I found not one, but TWO mango trees that I never knew about, I had an encounter which started with 2 VERY cute and curious (perhaps uncomfortably curious) monkeys but soon escalated into 5 or 6 staring down from the tree exactly over my head. They start off cute but when there starts to be enough monkeys for every leg, arm, AND CABEÇA (head).. you start to fear for your life a little - not going to lie. 

- So we have this little side street/alley that we literally walk EVERY DAY about 4 or 5 times because it has a lot of people, but they all know and recognize the missionaries because we have been here forever right. But they always have this same group of men that are always drunk even at 10 in the morning and we usually just smile and say "bom dia" (good morning) and pass by right. BUT yesterday we just pass by and these two are together and call out "hey where's MY convite" (invitation) (for church right) and we just respond yep today at 3, you are all welcome! Which turned into this conversation where my companion is talking to one and I am talking with the other, and somehow I end up leaving with his fresh caju (cashews) and tangerine he just bought (I still don't know how), but we are about to leave and Alexandro goes "Hey I want to be taught". Ok beleza, (beautiful) marked a time with him later on (which don't stress because we're bringing Jóse our recent convert, but then he leans in really close and goes "If anyone messes with you guys, ele vai VIAJAR." (he will travel) Which means exactly what you think it means. XD And apparently he is in some type of gang and everyone knows him, (he is completely drunk this whole time so I am still a little unsure how much of this is reliable), but hey I sure slept more soundly last night let me tell you! 

- Ok this one I still DIE, IT'S SO FUNNY. We meet the cutest little kitten on the street and I kid you not, I really don't like gatos (cats) but this guy was PRECIOUS, black and white and rugged and TINY. But of course we become the greatest of friends and coax him through the gate of our condominium and he follows us all the way to our building, with us dangling our keys in front of him and making cat sounds. I don't really know how this happened but we are going INTO the elevador and everyone is still coaxing and joking around, but then he actually ENTERS THE ELEVADOR and the door closes and I am still not believing what is going on but everyone is dying. We reach our floor and coax little Friend, out the door, into the hallway, INTO OUR APARTMENT. Oh my lanta folks it was seriously the funniest thing in the whole world. I was like guys we can't keep him here and they all just said, only for one night our apartment allows animals! Soooo what happens? We make him a little bed out of a basket and towel, cut up some sausage that Hernandez had and some water, the whole time he is just meowing and doing little cute summersaults IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING. We lasted about 15 minutes and then let him back out into the wild. Ahhhh what a good 15 minutes though. 

And then we had an opportunity to teach Fatima, who is the aunt of one of the most amazing people I have met on the mission Jessi. She was one of the first people who really embraced me and showed me such love when I came into the mission. We are always over at her house, eating couscous or singing songs as she plays the guitar, and she is really like an older sister to me that I really needed. But her aunt has been living with them for some time, always accepting but never really interested in the church or anything, but had an experience that really touched her and asked to have us come over to teach her. Wow, I can't even begin to describe how tender of a spirit this woman has or how the Lord has been preparing her. I will tell you more about her next week because I am low on time, but with every scripture that we left, she read them MULTIPLE times. So we entered the lesson prepped with this lesson that we had been preparing but, in the beginning of the lesson, she starts telling us about her life and the hardships that she has gone through. And soon we are all crying, sharing scriptures and basking in the felicidade (happiness) that our Heavenly Father never leaves us comfortless, that when we are at our most humble we are really the most happy because we have the clearest of perspectives. Our lesson soon switched to one about the plan of happiness that God has specifically for her and Jessi bore her heart about how grateful she was that we can live with our families for eternity. It really is a profound truth that we take for granted. Imagine it, really. Never being alone, surrounded for all eternity with those you love more than anything else. It was a moment when the spirit came in and filled the cracks of every corner of our hearts and souls. I am infinitely grateful for the beauty of the gospel.

This weekend is literally one of the most AMAZING times of the year, when we really get to hear the words that our Heavenly Father wants us to hear, counsel for questions and doubts we never even realized we needed, and to really witness the greatest tender mercy of having a living Prophet that has been called of God to guide us. Please ponder and really come with an open heart ready to learn, because sometimes we really think we already know everything there is to know in life when really we are all still children in the sight of God you know? 

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE. HUG YOUR MOM

SAY YOUR PRAYERS

Muito amor!!

Sister Staheli

Week 16 -- AI AMIGOS ESSA SEMANA FOI LOUCA. (So friends, this week was crazy)

It was the last week of Sister Soares and literally EVERY DAY was packed with running around the city visiting people that she taught and members in the wards she had served. We had janta CADA NOITE (dinner every night) (which usually we never stop to eat or have normally) with people making cinnamon rolls, specialty peixe (fish), churrasco (steaks), açai, homemade pizza (including cartola - a dessert pizza with cheese and bananas with cinnamon - suprising gostoso!! (delicious)) and literally qualquer outra (any other) excuse to sit, eat, share our testimonies and just enjoy one another's company before sending her back home. And even with all this, we STILL weren't even able to see all the people that wanted to see her. It was filled with so much love and pure felizidade (happiness) that really gave me perspective to the influence that she has on people and why I am serving a mission in the first place - for the people. There are not really words to adequately describe just how touching and beautiful it all was (but just maybe enough tears :')  ). 

Saying goodbye to her was really difficult, not going to lie, a little bit like saying goodbye to my actual mom - someone who really knew me and saw me from the very first day in the field, who guided me sternly but lovingly, and who truly inspired me in so many ways. I wish you could all meet her, she really is the most striking of people that just leaves you feeling a little lighter (abeit with a bit of sheer blunt honesty)

THEN we also had our zone conference with Presidente and all of the missionaries came to our capela (chapel) for some training and SERIOUSLY needed guidance. He talked about the importance of obedience of course, but he also emphasized the need for real personal study and how having the spirit really allows us to exclude even the possibility of fear in our hearts - foi poderosa amigos realmente (it was really powerful my friends). And after the training they call on random missionaries to roll-play and do a practice contact/lesson in front of everyone and the day before everyone in the apartment was stressing out about this part right. So they finish, beleza (beautiful), and who do they call? 

"SISTER SOARES (who was the most experienced on the mission and is a literal ICON), why don't you come up?

With your companion....s... " (as all of us stand up, because of course there was still 3 of us)

So yep, had to do a practica (practice) in front of the entire mission for my first zone conference - which turned out to be the ONLY practica they ended up doing. #whoopwhoop #yitche

But ever since Sister Soares left, I have literally become the mother of the apartment, even though I am definitely still one of the 'youngest' in the mission it's SO FUNNY. I'm not kidding - I wash dishes almost completely independently (because once I waited 5 DAYS without doing them to see what would happen and what happened? We ran out of every plate, cup, and fork in casa). And I make almost every meal because I am pretty sure no one else knows how to cook hardly anything right. So we are at Jose's last night making macarrão (pasta) and pipoca (popcorn) but the problem was that he didn't have any oil for the pan, so he starts rummaging around and goes PERFECT and plops these coconut oil capsules into the pan that you swallow like a pill. And I'm just sitting there like wait, this really isn't going to work guys the outside of the pill is not oil - it's some type of plastic-y type substance. But they just keep on plowing until it really starts burning and smoking and everyone's like AIII O QUE  (Is everything ok)?!?! and realize that wait, this really was not a good idea .  IT WAS SO FUNNY.

This Sunday was a bit of a dousey for the Sisters of Cidade Verde not going to lie. So Friday, we passed by their house to teach and remind Aparacida of her baptism this Sunday but she had taken the whole family to go visit her dad in the interior and her neighbors said she wouldn't be back until late Sunday night. So we were really disappointed that we weren't able to see her but tudo bem (everything is good) right. We pass by Saturday and see her daughter sitting on the side of the street and we get super excited because this meant they had returned early after all, but after asking after her mom, Alysia gestures towards a casa and says that she was inside drinking. Wow that was hard. But we went around the other side and talked to the youngins, who all had buzzed their hair #PRECIOUS, and said hey amigos we are going to pass by tomorrow for church okay? Let your mom know we passed by and will be back around 2. So the next day we approach the house and peak in the open door and all I see is Maria Aparacida passed out on the ground, completely tousled and groggy and clearly in the aftermath of a night of drinking. I don't think I have ever seen a more discouraging sight in my entire life. Someone that you really invested your heart and soul into, all the fruits of your work and testimony and love just disintegrating into midair. But as we sat and talked to her, trying to convince her to go to church and remind her how much she loved it, I wanted to be angry. But in the moment all I could see was myself, saw the reality of the imperfection of the natural man, but I really just saw someone who knew she had messed up but who really just wanted to believe that Christ still loved her even despite her imperfection. This work isn't meant to just be a simple easy do it and you’re done, teach all the lessons, get them to church, baptism - no. People are so much more real than that, and the realization that we are all just doing the best we can was something that was really powerful for me. 

Stop Anne, breathe. What do they need? To be reminded of the things they need to be doing, what they already know or to hear that they are loved anyways and always by our Savior. 

It was quite the semana (week) folks, but it really was one that has forever altered my perspective of the mission, of people, and of myself. Wow I am so grateful for our Savior, He really has given us everything even when we have nothing in return. 

Cinnamon rolls (minus the icing - they don't like it!)

Try to show a little extra love this week, you never know how much they need it <3

COM MUITO AMOR (with a lot of love)

Sister Staheli

Sister Barlow (MTC companion) and Sister Forsythe (PRIMEIRA missionary from Scottland to serve in BRASIL)

Last goodbye with the lenda Sister Soares :')

Week 15 -- Tender Mercies of the Lord

Wow this week was one that I think that really gave me perspective I needed.

One of all the tender mercies of the Lord for those who really love and serve Him, one of the impact we have on other people, and a perspective that made me stop and think about who I really am as a person.  

This week we had one day where we left the house at 8 in the morning and didn't get back until 9:30 - almost legit 12 hours of straight and diligent hard work. Just to give you a taste, normally our goals for the week from our mission president are 80 contacts (where you stop people on the street and give them the location, time, and invite them for a church service),and we had almost 115 !!!!! In one day, we had to encounter 7 new people to teach with addresses and everything. It was one of the most tiring days, but also one of the most satisfying you know? When you have something that you really give every effort you have, something that you really invest yourself in and the feeling that you were able to accomplish something that challenged you,  ahhhhh wow I just THRIVE on days like that. 

And it was such a tender mercy because the Lord completely blessed our efforts. Our president has really been emphasizing that we need to walk by faith - both to have patience that the people we are teaching will be able to change their lives and accept the gospel, but also that you need to be able to let go of people that just aren't really ready in their lives right now to accept the happiness of the gospel (which is SO MUCH more difficult for me). I have such a strong testimony that when the Lord sees that you are really invested in something good in your life, with faith and humility to know that you can't do it all by yourself, that this is all the Lord needs to justify a little extra boost to help you out. But we were able to not only meet but exceed the standards for the week and were able to celebrate with both açai, AND my first time in a McDonald's BRASIL. 

And MAN IT'S SO FUNNY. You can have a brisket and sizzling steak with rice, beans, farofa, salsa, bolo de chocolate, mandioca, sweet potato, cuscuz, with a LITER of Guarana for like 20 reais, but how much does a burger and fries cost from McD's?? 

$33. 

*shrugs and buys subpar quality subway across the street for $12*

The mission is crazy because I totally thought I had things figured out in my life before I left - my testimony, the person I was, the perspective I had of the world but also the way that I thought the world saw me. But there's never been any other moment in my life that I have felt the burden of my weaknesses so strongly, that I have been aware of how much I have to improve and just how very, very far I am from the perfect example of my Savior. And wow I really sat and thought about who I was one night after everyone had gone to bed. Just me and my thoughts and the stars. I thought about my Savior and that moment in the Garden when He sat and took upon Himself every bad thing, every pain to ever have been imagined. Reading a talk by Elder Howard, it talked about how Christ knew on an intellectual level what He would need to do, but when it came time to actually feel the immense burden and pain upon shoulders and heart of one so pure, even He felt inadequate. That what which was required of Him was too much for Him to bear, asking for Heavenly Father to relieve Him - to help Him under the overwhelming guilt and grief. And it just made my Savior so much more real you know? He really does understand you, in everything, wow it's just powerful. 

So I had a moment - ANNE STOP. And I am learning to accept myself for who I am, weaknesses and all. Because it is only through our weaknesses that we remember that we can't do everything on our own - that we really are children who need our Father's love and wisdom in every moment. 

Wow I love Him. 

Try to take something that you know you can improve on, and really try to turn it from a burden to a blessing. Every imperfection is just an opportunity to learn how to better. 

LOVE YOU ALL. 

MUITO AMOR.

Sister Staheli

Sis Soares special influence

Maria Aparacida and fam 

Oh so expensive McDonalds

View outside Pres. & Sis Colleoni's apartment

5 missionaries in a car

Week 14 -- Americana be robando amigos #cuidado

Every day I am appreciating more and more what it means to be a missionary. It's funny because I was looking back at my old journal entries and they all start with 

WOW THIS DAY WAS SUCH A BLESSING.

 or 

WOW I'M TIRED.

 or 

WOW I MISS VEGIES. 

(for real it's actually impressive at times their pasta/rice/meat to vegies ratio, but they make up for it with their quality of cocos (coconuts), guaiabas, (guava) and mangas (mangos) so I guess it evens out somewhere ;) 

But this week was really amazing in different ways - with the people we taught and conversations we had, the amount of times I was able to just laugh at myself and the situation I was in, and just the joy that comes naturally from always striving to recognize the hand of the Lord in your day. 

BLESSING OF THE WEEK: We were able to get 7 (!!!!!!!!) people we have been teaching in church yesterday!! Ok so maybe 4 of them were under the age of 8 and were adorably crazy and restless during the Sacrament - but what does that really matter?

1. So the biggest group was this family with a mom Aparacida and her 15 year old daughter Alycya (who has a smoking addiction that started when she was 11 YEARS OLD), and 4 youngin meninos (little boys) Luiz, Pedro, Benjamin, and Itsãlo. Oh my gosh it was the funniest thing. So we passed by their little home to grab them for church and the girls were still getting ready so my companions say take the boys to Jóse while we are waiting (who if you remember was the recent convert that prayed about us

). So I am walking, just me with these 3 little boys all soaking wet from the rushed shower and I'm asking them what their names are and how old they were and such right. So we pass this group of people that are sitting eating and when they see me with all these kids without their mom, they kind of freak right because this street is almost like a family - everyone knows everyone, and they see the missionaries EVERY DAY and they are already a little weary of the fact we are all from different states/countries.

Oi, where are you taking them??
Where's their mom??? 

Which agitation only INCREASES when they see me round the corner, herd them into the waiting running car with Jóse and return to check on Aparacida, SEM CRIANCAS (without kids). Oh my gosh never before had I really felt like I was legit kidnapping but man this got pretty close. Imagina - the innocent Americana robando (stealing) toas as bebês (all the babies) heh heh... #watchoutBrasil. But just imagine sacrament with all these little boys who have never had to sit for so long - hinos (hymns) being destroyed left and right, "I haven't had the water yet *drinks second cup*" and crawling underneath the pews AHHH it was just the purest form of content chaos, but after much noise and tearing of paper and thrown airplanes, we finally figured it out and each missionary had her arm around one of the boys who were intently drawing or focused on pictures of Christ in our panfletos (pamphlets) and their sweet mom was finally able to actually listen to what was being said.. ahh filled my heart amigos <3

One of the other people in church was GABI. And she really is the most amazing, prepared person I have ever met. She is the neighbor of a family in the ward and after the first lesson she goes, oh sorry I didn't have much time to look at your panfletto and the scriptures in the Book of Mormon because of school and work *pulls out 2 pages of annotations and questions and proceeds to give a complete summary of the story of Joseph Smith and of Moroni chapter 10* #dying. But she really has been prepared by the Lord and during the lessons it was one of the first times that I actually didn't feel inhibited by the language. Something this week that has really hit me is how apparent the hand of the Lord is in the work of bringing His children home. He knew that Gabi needed to hear these words and he enabled me to be a simple conduit of those simple truths and the simple statement that she was loved, that God has a plan for her. Wow there are just no words to describe the miraculous nature of it all. 

There's nothing I am more sure of than the fact that God is a part of every aspect of the lives of His children. Every day the love that He has for them grows in me and I just can't get over how much I am grateful for Him and for families. 

MUITO AMOR AMIGOS. (much love friends)

Try to write down a tender mercy of the Lord every day this week!

Sister Staheli

Tried a variety of fresh native fruits this week including the fruit of a cashew and fresh coco verde (which is kind of squishy and wet). It's funny how the fruits that are so common in America are the delicacies of this country - like honeydew and strawberries!! 

 I love living in a house with 4 other girls because its like you gain 4 new sisters (with 4 new wardrobes #whoopwhoop! #allwearingclothesofSisterStaheli #shoutouttoKIMRA)

Silva, Soares, Staheli <3

Week 13 -- The tongue of the Vaca (bow bow bow)

Alrighty family this was the week when the food actually approached the border of sketchtow and in all honesty, I have been pretty surprised with how normal all the meals are here. My mission stories with food will be pretty disappointing compared to those of Mason Douglass who (and I have NO IDEA how I remember this) ate literal BLOOD SAUSAGE - which is essentially just a ziploc-like sac filled with just straight animal blood. BUT that changed with the cow tongue that an irmã (sister) brought for us for almoço on terça (lunch on Tuesday), which actually has really great flavor, but when you're thinking about the fact you are using your own tongue and tasting something that also used to taste things… life gets a little weird. 

But this week our apartment gained a newbie from the MTC - Sister Hernandez de Columbia! It’s so weird having her living with us and watching all the ways that she reacts to things, because it's like I am reliving the first few weeks of my mission all over again. Like we are all sitting eating and talking together about the craziness of the day or the funny things that happened and she just looks at me and goes "wait, can you actually understand everything they are saying?"

And I was like of course!

Wait. 

OH MY GOSH I CAN.

 Like and it wasn't even something that was weird for me to be having that conversation with them or something that I had even thought about. When the change happened from just being completely overwhelmed with the fact that I couldn't understand a single word to being able to have actual continuous thoughts and strung together words in a phrase, it's really amazing. I realized that sometimes I am not even thinking the sentences I want to say in English anymore (which is sometimes a really BAD idea) but it was a moment that I was really able to appreciate how far I have come and the ways that I have grown in the mission this past transfer, not only with the language but with a wider perspective of the people and what it means to be a missionary. But she has really been amazing and I made her some American style pancakes for her first day (really simple - banana, egg, ground up oats, cinnamon, and a little salt) and with this homemade maple syrup and she LOVED IT.

It's also pretty funny to talk with her because we'll be like um do you have that green thing (dust pan)? What's this called? I have no idea but in Spanish it’s ...."

Wow I love the exposure you have with other cultures on a mission. Every country just expresses themselves in a unique way and I am really starting to appreciate the core ideals that my companions have because of where they live. They don't have a "this is mine, this is yours" mindset - they just share everything because everyone is your family. They really are so selfless at times with everything- money, food and just so expressive and direct with how they feel, it's just really profound you know?  

Ahh I'm running out of time so I will just bullet point the rest:

- had a surreal experience teaching a swarm of 8 little girls under the age of 12 on the cobblestone street curb. When they saw us coming, they came running and screaming and giggling, hugging me and saying "OI! (Ela é Americano!!)" And we had the opportunity to teach them about Christ being baptized and they were all just like, "I want to follow Christ! I want to be baptized like Him!!" And after they all wanted me to speak English and so I 'translated' all of their names into English and they all went crazy it was the cutest thing. It was like being overwhelmed with a swarm of puppies :) 

AHH MEU CORAÇÃO  (Ahh my heart).  

-Short thought about something that really hit me this week: 

We have really been so blessed in our lives, but we just become accustomed to it. I was fasting this week for the ability to know how it was that I could improve, to better understand the needs of the people around me so that I might be able to help them. But something that really hit me as a response came in the simple word: talents. And how important it is that we are not only developing our talents, but that we are also sharing them with other people. I thought about a singer who was like REALLY amazing right, but the only times that she would sing was in the bathroom for just herself. If only one person benefits from the profound feelings and emotions that come from the skill, what is the point of that amazing ability? We are on earth to help and lift one another, but we have all been given different abilities that make us unique. It should be exciting to share something we love with those around us, when we teach or perform or smile - we ourselves feel uplifted too. 

Don't be afraid to share your talents, or to acknowledge when you really need to rely on the abilities of someone else. 

We need to lose the mindset of "this is mine, and that is yours" and really share those things that we cherish the most with those around us - I really learned the importance of that this week. 

Anyways, sending my love as always - sorry for the lack of time today but thank you for your letters!! They fill my heart with a little piece of home <3 

COM MUITO AMOR (with much love),

Sister Staheli